/b/ - Random


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File: ImaBlockYou.png (6.06 MB, 3208x2014, 1604:1007, 1621285214386.png) [Show in Hex Viewer] [Reverse Image search]


I shid in the bathroom trash can when I was 7 because I wanted to try something other than the toilet. What did you do in your childhood?


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One time in middle school, I was with a fren watching a school basketball game. For some reason, maybe relating to an event earlier that day, everyone in the crowd had elastic wristbands like pic related. People were bored (attendance may have been mandatory; I don't recall) so they were using the elasticity to shoot the bracelets into the crowd, as you might do with a rubber band. This picked up steam pretty quick and got to the point where a teacher had to turn around and tell people to stop. Naturally, my fren told me he'd give me a dollar if I did another one. I agreed, took the wristband, and fired it discreetly when the teacher's back was turned. It landed close to her, and she was pissed, but it couldn't be traced back to me. My fren gave me the dollar and I bought some chips or something. He totally didn't think I'd do it, but a dollar is a dollar.


no thats not dumb its smart thinking
what if the apocalypse happens and theres no toilets anon, what would you do then? use the trash cans!


is this how you became a assassin for hire?


File: clown.png (222.12 KB, 360x360, 1:1, 1621370012491.png) [Show in Hex Viewer] [Reverse Image search]

What are you talking about? I'm just a regular clown.


When i was four years old, for no reason whatsoever i pulled my pants down infront of everyone
seems legit


File: earth knees.png (3.39 MB, 2935x3740, 587:748, 1621372219503.png) [Show in Hex Viewer] [Reverse Image search]

When I was in elementary school, I used to get bullied a lot.
My mother said that if someone wanted to bully me, I should grab my balls and tell them "suck on these".
What I understood was something completely different. I got to the stage that was in the playground, started doing a striptease dance, and ended up showing my balls to everyone that was there. My bullies started to bully me saying that I had a short dick




I used to hump the floor from 8 to 11 in the corners of people's homes because I didn't know it was sexual, I just knew it felt good and my ma didn't like seeing me do it. I did it at home from the age of 6 or so.


one time I pissed in the sink instead of the wall trough urinal for the exact same reason which I never regretted because wall trough urinals are disgusting


always piss in the sink


As a kid on a family trip I picked up a used needle from behind a bush because I was angry at "people littering" and wanted to throw it away. My parents were absolutely terrified and got me to wash my hands immediately. That's the closest I've been to getting aids


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sounds like your parents are litterbugs, at least your parents didnt piss off captain planet


I had went on cheese.com and listed obscure cheese varieties while we were doing a computer activity in 8th grade. I was top of the class, so the teacher wasn't that mad, but the rest of the class looked like they were just processing the absurdity of the event that they were in at the moment.


sounds like you should have been the one teaching the class about cheese and the teachers should have let you do your job


>That's the closest I've been to getting aids
So you've never been an OP?


I always use condoms when making a bread


>Anon tells about how he got a humiliation kink


File: 1615550712349.png (298.22 KB, 816x540, 68:45, 1626519737514.png) [Show in Hex Viewer] [Reverse Image search]

This happened in first grade in swimming class. All the kids were sitting on the bank of the swimming pool waiting for the class to start. I was in the pool. I was doing this thing where I let myself sink to the bottom of the pool (it was very shallow but deep enough for first grade me) and I pushed myself up with my legs. I was doing it as hard as I could so I would shoot up out of the water. I imagined I was some Aquaman-type ocean warrior shooting up towards the surface.
I was doing this over and over again when I shoot up and suddenly I hit my head on something, really fucking hard. I fall back into the water, surprised and my head hurting like hell. It felt like I had slammed into a diamond or something. I swim up to the surface to see what I hit my head on.
The first thing I see is one of the girls in my class. She's staring straight at me and crying hysterically. I immediately noticed the blood. Her mouth was open and it was COVERED in blood. It was gushing from her mouth like a gruesome fountain. The blood was coming from her left front tooth, which was halfway shorter than the right because it had been driven up into her gums.
Without realizing it I had come too close to the bank. When I shot up with all my strength I must've kicked myself straight into her teeth and smashed her tooth into her gums.
Two school employees suddenly come into view. One of them asks me if I'm okay, I just blurt out "Yes" because her injuries seemed way more severe than my headache. They take the girl by her arms and rush her away somewhere. I don't remember anything after that. I never saw that girl again.


oh god how can you even fix a tooth when it gets embedded in your gums
just reading this made my teeth hurt

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