/yu/ - Feelings

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 No.1408[Reply][D]

ITT: comfy aesthetics
my favorite is Goblincore

>collecting shiny things

>nature ie frogs n shit
>hording
>isolating self in cave

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pO32lH_ZlNQ
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 No.1470[D][DF]

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 No.2130[D][DF]

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Analog sci-fi/Cassette futurism
There's something about sinthwave, the hum of old computers and structural design used that just feels so relaxing to me.

 No.2133[D][DF]

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>>2130
Similar vibe but not synthwave, sorta makes me think about all those old clips from shows like star trek and red dwarf when these massive ships slowly carve there way through space

https://soundcloud.com/sweepsbeats/be-calm
https://soundcloud.com/momowardmusic/voyage
https://soundcloud.com/sweepsbeats/somewhere-else-1



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 No.2127[Reply][D]

As I was struggling once again with feeling pretty shitty for the last few days I thought I'd try to figure out how my feelings might work
Pic related, the result, is slightly amusing, and it might be pretty inaccurate, but I hope it can help me understand myself better. It is extremely simplified of course.
a -> b means that a "increases" b, for example having work to do increases stress or reading a good book restores energy.
a -x b means that a "decreases" b, like fun decreasing stress, or negativity decreasing energy
This graph expresses a thought I've been having for a while, that stress and negativity create a vicious cycle, which is also constantly getting input from the stuff I have to do. Like for example doing an exam is stressful.
(By active fun I mean fun that requires effort, projects basically. Passive fun is low-energy requiring activities like watching movies)
With fun you don't have such a simple feedback loop: you have to balance out passive and active fun, as too much passive won't make you much happier while too much active will wear you out and turn counter-productive. At the same time energy, the fuel behind active fun is constantly being drained by everything (to be fair, it gets partially refilled every day too)
You don't have a constant favorable stream that can kickstart you like the negative loop has, and the looping is less direct and quick:
Passive fun -> less stress -> more energy in the near future -> more active fun -> less stress and negativity -> more energy in the further future
It might all just be bullshit. But I guess I'll try to take a look at some of the activities I do and try to see how they reflect on this graph, then try to figure out if I can spend my time better
What do you think of this? Am I crazy?
Also, what about you? Do you make plans and graphs about how to better your mood and life? Does it help?
I feel like plans to better my life make me more hopeful and energetic in the short term but on the long run I always give up/forget about it.. However I can't just give up, can I?


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 No.1727[Reply][D]

Post poetry that resonated with you or you just think is cool

Stopping by Woods on a Snowy Evening
BY ROBERT FROST
Whose woods these are I think I know.
His house is in the village though;
He will not see me stopping here
To watch his woods fill up with snow.

My little horse must think it queer
To stop without a farmhouse near
Between the woods and frozen lake
The darkest evening of the year.

He gives his harness bells a shake
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 No.1837[D][DF]

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 No.1842[D][DF]

Time for some Baudelaire. This one appealed to me a lot.
https://fleursdumal.org/poem/172

 No.2126[D][DF]

>>1727
My interpretation might be somewhat literal, but I think the poem is about finding solace in the face of your endless stream of responsibilities.
Do you even find yourself in a situation and think to yourself "I wouldn't mind if this lasts forever" ? It's tough when you realize it's impossible.
That's the message that speaks to me, anyways.



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 No.1139[Reply][D]

>no gf for 2 years
>no hookups for 1 year
>no female touch for 7 months
im now to the point where im comfortable just being alone and just having male friends that share interests. Is there something wrong with me? Have i degenerated or ascended?
Besides all that ive come to find alot about myself through this loneliness and im kinda proud of that. Anyone else feel this way?
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 No.2111[D][DF]

Never really felt emotions like that. I feel emotions, but expressing them in real life towards others always was a hassle. I feel emotions, but they're all in my head. I mean, I love my parents, I love life, nature, and all my hobbies, but expressing love toward them is more or less strange to me.

And in terms of romantic emotions, I never felt that way toward irl people. I know that it will always end in failure, because then I'd have someone under my control. I don't want that.

I have a waifu however, no joke, and I'm more or less satisfied with that. I feel as if loving someone for anything other than good if that makes sense is "worldly" and will end in suffering.

I guess, so it is. Truth will always reign over falsehood.

 No.2125[D][DF]

>>1139
I have recently started to think about saving more money and putting it into my debit card and bank. When I had consistent work, I did that, but now that I haven't had a lot of oppturnities to work I have not done that so much. I recently realized that I have to save money to prevent unnecessary stress because I am buying stuff but after saving for some time, but I never have money to just buy something for the heck of it. As for putting money in the bank, it will be nice to have more security, especially as my current scholarship runs out. Maybe having more money will make me carry myself more confidently and less worried.

 No.2456[D][DF]

>>1139
You have ascended. Remember lad that those degenerate normalniggers obsess over trivial pish-posh such as relationships and the stress and drama it creates usually sends them down a downward spiral that YOU are protected from, you are free to grow and to become your best self as you have discovered, OP. Truily wizards are wise like the philosophers of old.



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 No.2011[Reply][D]

I've gone and fucked myself. I'm genuinely in fear of my life now. Everyday I wake up, I remember my reality. A wave of fear and anxiety fills me. Sleep is so peaceful, but knowing I could easily be killed during this time makes me stay up for hours on end. Stepping out my front door is a risk too, buut so is staying at home. I'm terrified to schedule another shift at work because I believe my coworkers want to beat the shid out of me. Same goes with my neighbors and the family I live with. Worse than that, I believe people want to gun me down lol. It's become a hellish existence and I don't see any way I could ever be happy again. Genuinely happy and on a good path. My mother, father, siblings have practically disowned me, leaving me for the dogs. Yet I still live with them, I know the way they feel about me.

I have a way out, but my mom might take it away from me. Here's hoping that won't happen.

Either way, once I'm gone, my family will be happier than they were when I was around. Dead or alive.

I can't cope, I want to restart but it's clear that isn't possible. Nor is redemption. Just suffering, or fleeing. But my counselor believes this will follow me no matter how far I go. As for my safety though, leaving this town could be a matter of life or death.

How fucking crazy is that?

I believe that these feelings are deeply rooted in reality, but you would probably call me schizo.

Fuck man, I don't know what to do, I'm only posting this here because I believe my anonymity on a regular pornsite/plebbit have been compromised. Posting with HTTPS everywhere and on a different, more secure browser. Hoping my family isn't able to read what I'm typing.

I don't know if this is me being psycho,(counselor put in a note "psychosis" after our last visit?) but I'm pretty sure I heard my mom say "he already knows they're gonna kill him".
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 No.2122[D][DF]

>>2011
if you act on a belief, it is true. why would you go see a counselor? because you dont believe you even have control over your mind. no one can help you at this point, you are basically just an animal in human form. your own mind has been imprisoned by itself. you have gone off the figurative deep end, you will now have to go to a therapist and take meds for the rest of your life, like a plant being watered and cared for. that is all you are, a plant, with no control over anything about it at all.

i do really mean all that ive said but at the same time i dont. there is an astounding lack of harsh criticism towards weak people in this day and age and i want to create this dialogue in your mind to make you realize, youre being fucking pathetic right now. you need to realize that youre the only one who can change your life, and youre the only one in control of your mind. you can debate the validity of these statements but at the end of the day they lead to positive change and thats all that really matters. if you have a problem, what the fuck are you going to do about it? are you going to fix it and stop being a victim, or are you going to feel content in thinking you cant do anything about it?

also my captcha was 0hSHiD lol.

 No.2123[D][DF]

>>2122
as always, holy dubs speak the truth

 No.2124[D][DF]

>>2122
The therapist, at the end of the day, can't help you. Only you can help yourself. Therapy may help you, though, because the therapist may be a medium for you to convince yourself to think differently.



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 No.2117[Reply][D]

>be me
>mom gets home from a 4 week trip
>she's in a bad mood
>couple days ago she was texting me asking for money
>needed 500 dollars
>said she'd pay me back
>i respond to her first text, but immediately crash from exhaustion afterwards
>she's blowing up my phone
>her boyfriends calling me
>eventually texts me saying she doesn't want me to send her ANYTHING
>ignores me until today
>doesn't want me to pick her up from the airport, sends her bf instead
>ok...
>at the house, we unload her luggage
>relative silence, i try to start convo, shut down
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 No.2118[D][DF]

>>2117
why does she need money?

 No.2121[D][DF]

Seems like you'll have to save as much money as possible and bunker down until the time is right. where they always that rude OP?



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 No.2093[Reply][D]

It's Like All A Dream Game, Really.

Post The People, If You Feel, Truly Feel, Something For The Lad/Lass - You Win.

Don't forget to name the person if feeling proper so we too do can colour some boring times with a pieces of another.

I Will Start this one.
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 No.2102[D][DF]

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John Gallagher Jr

 No.2103[D][DF]

>>2093
Can y'all elaborate when you post on this thread? It is hard to see the deeper point of this thread with just photos. Just posting photos and name comes accross and low quality to me. This thread has potential.

 No.2105[D][DF]

>>2103
this thread's an old offshoot of YLYL.
aka You Love You, and the other offshoots are You Rage You Lose, You Baww You Lose, and You Barf You Lose.
Lurk moar OP pls



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 No.1907[Reply][D]

>>953
this is know a vibez thread, post meloncholy vibezzzz
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 No.2077[D][DF]

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>>2070
Yea i am studying in different city.
It’s all very difficult for me.
I don’t really click well with people
socially. I dont know anyone in the dorm,
barely know anyone in the class but i am
at least gonna get to see family this weekend.

 No.2079[D][DF]

>>2077
I choose to live at home for university because I was scared that I would not make any friends. It is worth the 80 kilometers each trip for me because I get to live with my family and essentially live a similar life to high school. From my perspective making friends from class is practically impossible because the professor is talking the whole time. People who live on campus seem like cockroaches who only come out when they are doing something with their friends or have class. I completely understand what you have to deal with and hope you can get a friend by sheer luck.

 No.2089[D][DF]

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>>2079
It’s been a little better lately.
I guess it’s a sort of “thrown into water” thing in my case.
It’s so much easier to talk to people since I’ve been in an all girls class and live “alone” .
I know i still gotta work on my socialisation but not gonna force anything I don’t have to.
I had an incredibly retarded moment on train a while ago, i could tell you the story later if you would like to.



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 No.1979[Reply][D]

> Pic realted

It's my first time posting here, hoping this board is kind of active.
4 replies omitted. Click here to view.

 No.1984[D][DF]

>>1980
Okay, I'll think of this next time I decide to make a post related to all this

>>1982
It's not just being a jerk or being a dick to people. I mean not even my own mother seems to care for me. She keeps saying things like "you need it" and shit.

Cars keep speeding past my house, non stop, revving their engines. I feel like people have my address.

I don't know, anon, my dad called me to say that he would rather me go to Mexico instead of to his place in California. That I'd probably feel the same as I do here.

I feel as if I'll die before the end of the month or I'll be killed by someone in Mexico.


I don't know what to do anymore.

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 No.2055[D][DF]

>>2011
>>1988
>>1986
All of op's threads so far, just to help anyone who doesnt know what's going to catch up.

 No.2084[D][DF]

Are you still here op? is everything fine now?



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 No.1474[Reply][D]

Anything internet related really.
Meme culture
Internet culture
Imageboard culture or how ever else you happened to use it.
Either when you where on the internet, through your computer or outside and people are talking just talking about internet culture.
You can even talk about when you first started using it, or even later in life.
Good or bad memories, perhaps a thread can help close up old wounds, and help heal. Either way i think this will be interesting to talk about.
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 No.1706[D][DF]

>>1705
Wait a minute, you're not angry?

 No.2057[D][DF]

>>1478
how was newgrounds anyway? did it become diffrent over time? how is it now? (i ask this because i've never been there before and i only hear good things and nostalga)

 No.2062[D][DF]

>>2057
Newgrounds lately has become a bit more pron focused in some aspects ever since the whole tumblr shutting down any r18 blogs.
they are also making a program that aims for flash to be working past the end of 2020 called ruffle at the moment it can run early flash stuff perfectly fine while the newer stuff doesn't work as well it also is fully website based so it can run on mobile which is nice.



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 No.1988[Reply][D]

Okay everyone.

I'm about leave everything behind. Everything, sadly including my pets, which I love so very much. All of my belongings aside from the following: Laptop, SSN, Passport, BC, Spare undies/tshirt, headphones (2), Two binders that hold the aforementioned documents, and the clothes on my back.

I have 12000 dollars, which isn't an incredible amount, but I have no where to hide in this god damn state. My family is out of the picture. Currently I'm still in my homestate, but I'm out of town, and I don't plan on going back for any reason, other than being convinced by my family (which I fear, because they'll definitely teach me a lesson). I'm truly on my own here.

I plan on hopping on an airplane or a bus and moving across the country. Or should I move out of country? It's clear that these people want me gone, and I mean gone gone.

I'd like to hear any opinions, I'm willing to answer some questions. I'll be watching my post for the next couple of hours. I have until 5am tomorrow to disappear.
20 replies omitted. Click here to view.

 No.2009[D][DF]

>>2007
Yes.

>>2006
She hasn't answered my texts, I'm planning on asking her to meet me somewhere once I land back in my home state. I feel like I don't deserve to call these people, but my dad keeps checking in on me, same with my uncle. My uncle told me to come home "we admit responsibilities and deal with them".

The last message I sent my mom was me asking if she wanted to talk and she hasn't messaged me back. Right now, I'm waiting on a phone call from my dad.

>>2008
My uncle would punish me growing up. He and I have a long history with each other, at one point he straight up told me he didn't really like me as a teenager. I'm a young adult now. We do spend a lot of time together, and he does joke/clown around a lot, but I know I've done things to hurt him as well.

I agree that my relationship with my mom is important, it means a lot to me, but I have this gut feeling that I cause her pain more than anything else. I love this woman, she's said in the fast that she could leave like my dad did if she wanted to, live her life and what not. Now she's talking about selling the house, which is something I know she has been thinking about for a while now. I wouldn't mind at all, she can do that and move somewhere she would be happier. I know she will be.

> "Try for a second to reason about it logically, put aside your feelings. Why would all this be happening to you, and not anybody else? How much does it take to push a person to homicide, and have you really ever done anything close to that to anybody? The world is full of dickheads, even famous dickheads, and somehow they are (mostly) all still alive. That's because killing someone is not something one does lightly and it's not something easy to pull off without going to jail for a long while."


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 No.2010[D][DF]

Well I'm back home.

So much has happened already, I still have reservations for my near future, I'm worried about what will happen to me if I don't permanently leave. I explained this to my mom and she dropped a couple of bombshells on me. She said since my disappearance, she realized that she doesn't want to be with anyone, that she wants to live alone, sell the house and move away. That whatever happens, happens, she's no longer going to worry and worry about my future. When she said this, I began to fear for the worst. She told me to love myself, to take care of myself, and to accept myself. To find god, to talk to a priest or pastor, and find the lord. She said that she needs to find god as well, in order to be happy. It felt like she was asking me to commit suicide. I kept saying things like "I don't want to die", "Is it happening tonight?", and other shid like that. She kept shaking her head, and saying that she wouldn't hurt me. But if I wanted pain she could grab a belt and whoop me. She also talked about putting me into a mental hospital for a while. I don't know what could possibly help me at this point.

We called my dad and he basically told me the same things as she did, that they aren't going to hurt me. He said a couple of things that stuck with me, "We're not going to hurt you, anon", "Everything's going to be okay","It's ALL in your head", and "We have to get you - the right medication so that you can be happy and healthy in life". Hearing him say these things was concerning I sense ulterior motives. That him, my mom, my sister, and everyone else who reached out wants to lure/lull me into a false sense of security before they act. He called me this morning to check in on me, and reminded me to talk to my counselor today, explain what happened recently.

My uncle and my mom's boyfren were getting drunk last night, talking about what's going to happen later tonight. They're talking as I'm typing this right now. My mom's boyfren said somethings dead, I didn't quite hear what that somethings was. My uncle says "You haven't worked, but it's coming now" (rough translation), I can't really hear the context, but it sounds serious.

 No.2060[D][DF]

>>1988

The first time I wanted to run away I was 7.

When I was 16, I told one of my classmates, I worked hard because I wanted to leave my home and never come back again.

When I was 23, I decided to leave, but later went back twice to see if I still had any reason to go back home. The last time I went home something convinced me it's a mistake to go back again.

It's not easy to survive. My family chased me and it forced me to stop contacting anyone they knew, my classmates, friends, anyone, so that they couldn't have my phone number.

I later learned that I was abused by my parents. I had to spend a huge amount of time on correcting myself, and at the same time struggle to find a job.

I don't know why I am still alive today. But I know I made the right decision. Had I not escaped from my family, my life could have been far worse.



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 No.1986[Reply][D]

I still feel like I'm going to die in this place.

But until then, I will be holding vigils and watching my back. It's necessary, I ditched my pocket knife at the airport, but I have a machete. It won't stop a bullet, but I think I need it tonight.

I don't know what to do. Whenever I talk to my dad or my mom about running away again, they simple say that I can't. That it's just not gonna happen. I think it's possible, but I still have my concerns. My family has this influence, and it could be my downfall.

I feel as if my doctors, my family, this entire town, knows about me.

They say it takes a village, it's likely that many people know where I live.

I'm not able to freely eat, sleep, shid, or shower. It's just a waiting game.

Waiting for the one who puts a bullet into my head.

It could happen tonight, or a month from now.
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 No.1987[D][DF]

Dude chill your suffering from extreme paranoia, also your cat needs protection because apparently you feel the neet to carry weapons 24/7. that or it got injured.
also, either post in the threads you've aready made, or go to >>>/yu/
its a board for these types of threads. lurk moar.



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 No.1501[Reply][D]

Anons that eat your feelings, what do you eat/drink to cope when the ride gets too bumpy, also what tends to make you eat.

>foodz

-cheese
-ice cream
- bread
-snything really

>drinks

-milk
-wine, cider, most spirits

reason: literally having to emotionally support my entire family of retards whilst ignoring my own problems
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 No.1965[D][DF]

>>1964
I don't drink regular soda anymore because I don't like drinking my calories anymore. It makes me gain weight.

 No.1970[D][DF]

>>1965
I've recently started to eat rice cakes because they are somewhat tasty and low calorie at the same time. It helps me from snacking too much.

 No.1972[D][DF]

>>1501
OP here, with an update I guess

-foodz
>rice
>beans
>pasta
>cheap meat

-drinkz
>instant coffee
>inhuman amounts of cheap soda
>energy drinks(when I can afford them)

Still the same reasons except the main source of income is now a worse druggie loser than ever before so we Rarely have what we need to live



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 No.1918[Reply][D]

Hey /yu/. I have a story to get off my chest.

I was around 4-5 when this started. I'd hear a voice claiming to be Satan, it was muddled yet it spoke to me telling me to do things.
Around I was 7 I started getting revelations from this Satan-voice. I was told that I was inside a simulation, and proving it by showing me patterns. I don't know why I didn't react too much.

Around age 12 I started getting more revelations from a voice claiming to be God. I was supposed to be an apocalyptic soldier to bring about the end of the world. Around this time the war started brewing. I started hearing a voice saying it's the CIA and I had lots of revelations around that time. A lot was revealed to me. I started becoming afraid.

I currently take antipsychotic medication and it's making me more lucid.

I can tell more if you want me to.
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 No.1928[D][DF]

>>1927
Thanks for answering my questions. Interesting stuff, and kinda scary too. I'm happy you resisted the voice that told you to hurt your cat
> I've wanted to do a whole lot of writing and animation based on it.. maybe you'll see in the future.
cool

 No.1929[D][DF]

>>1927
It'd be killer if you wrote stuff about it, I'm sure there'd a heap of people interested. I sure am.
Two more questions, how did you figure out this wasn't normal? And why/when did you go into treatment?

 No.1930[D][DF]

>>1929>>1929
>how did you figure out this wasn't normal?
I started taking antipsychotics after a lot of convincing.
>When/why did you go into treatment?
My dad's a psychiatrist so he was trying to help me the entire time and convincing me to reveal myself.



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 No.159[Reply][D]

Write a letter to someone who may never read it
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 No.1830[D][DF]

I would like to drink water.

 No.1884[D][DF]

Dear random person

On (tuesday, august, 12) Do not look outside. Close all windows and lock all doors. Turn all of your devices on at top volume. Rock back and fourth and if you hear knocking , knock back 3 times. If you hear someone say "outerwear" you know what you must do. that is all

 No.1902[D][DF]

Dear me of the future
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=816aPVMYJG8
just in case



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