/yu/ - Feelings


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 No.1532[View All][D]

Write any random feely thoughts which don't deserve their own thread itt

Sometimes I get in a pretty bad mood, and I start to perceive everything as shitty, even things said by people I'm close with or things I would usually like. Recently I once again was in this mood and got upset when a friend of mine poked fun of a thing I liked, so I wrote a whole rant as a response. I knew the reason it annoyed me was mainly my mood but I suspected that these feelings might be something I "repressed" when in a good mood, also I thought "maybe I'm wrong, but if I don't say it this stays inside of me, on the other hand if I say it we will clear things up"
The next day after reading his response instead of feeling like we "cleared things up" I just felt like I acted like a cunt for no reason
Now this is just a new one of the regretful memories that often pop up in my mind to sting me like a needle
57 replies (and 17 image replies) omitted. Click here to view.


I've been a little cold with music recently, but otherwise I really like it and often listen to it to feel.
By projects I mean that I hope to fill my time in a more satisfying way than watching youtube. I like making things. It's like you are actually working for something and when you're finished that something exists! It can be programs or drawings or music or whatever
My plan to fight bad moods is to spend my time as good as I can. I'm afraid the biggest factor on my mood (stress) is not under my control, so if I can't reduce the bad things in my life I have to have more good ones to balance it out


I am rarely cold with music because there is so much on my list to listen to. Self-improvement is great no matter what form it comes in. Having good things to balance out stress makes stress more useful to get stuff done without the negative side effects affecting you as much.


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For nearly my entire life, the dreadful feeling that I'm running out of time or not doing enough has followed me. I have this weird anxiety that if I'm late or miss my deadline that something will happen. I do a whole bunch of personal projects to fill this void, and I enjoy them, but I rarely finish them. I have a good time planning it out and starting it up, setting goal dates, and steps how to get there.
Problem is I have a severe lack of motivation at times and do miss my goal dates. Everytime it happens, I am reminded of my consistent failures. It doesn't matter what I have succeeded in, those little successes never makeup for the larger goals I tend to miss. It's like I just don't give a shit about my own goals and ideals until I miss my weird self assigned end date and freak out. I sometimes give up immediately because I convince myself I don't care and instead do essentially nothing until my free time is up. Then I feel awful and swear to be productive and make plans again and the cycle never stops.
I want to stop cycling through projects that I never finish and just do something. Anything. It's such a stupid thing to complain about, I should just do it. But it seems the nuerotic push to constantly be doing something is related to my mental block of not giving a fuck. The only time I finish a long term project is when I do it for someone else.
>I don't want to live like this desu I just want to be successful at something long term.


I'm on the same boat. The fact that I can't finish anything I begin to do makes me utterly sick because I feel like I'm stuck. As my projects slowly die, abandoned, my mind tries to remedy by throwing new ideas to be excited about which of course will never progress beneath a very initial stage if at all
>I sometimes give up immediately because I convince myself I don't care
I've sometimes felt the same, like even if I got the thing I want, I wouldn't be much happier. However I believe that the "dreadful feeling" is proof that I actually do care, and I think the same applies to you. The problem is that motivation is a fleeting feeling, however I think it's important to always keep in mind that you care, even if you can't feel it right now
>I want to stop cycling through projects that I never finish and just do something. Anything.
Maybe you could try to force yourself to focus on one thing only, at least until you achieve it. Maybe then your confidence will return and it'll be easier to do gradually do more things
>The only time I finish a long term project is when I do it for someone else
You could try to use that to your advantage. Tie your goal to somebody else. Sadly it doesn't work for me


>As my projects slowly die, abandoned, my mind tries to remedy by throwing new ideas to be excited about which of course will never progress beneath a very initial stage if at all
Ah shit I completely get that feeling.
>However I believe that the "dreadful feeling" is proof that I actually do care, and I think the same applies to you.
Good advice, honestly I didn't think of it that way. I often tell myself in moments of weakness that it doesn't matter. But if it didn't matter, why did I try to do it? The dread must come from somewhere.
I think I will try your advice, a close friend's birthday is coming up in a few weeks. I could do a small project for them and go from there...
Thanks, anon. I hope you are successful soon.


Good luck!


Is the project a surprise? I ask that because it could be helpful to talk about with someone to stay motivated.


misery? what happened to him? difficult life?


Has work sucked the fun out of your day? Lately, it has for me. This week I had a big project that I procrastinated on until the last moment. Doing last-minute work is stressful enough, but before I did the assignment, I always thought about it.


Words are hard. Fuck


Anyone have animals or insects in the wild that the second you hear them, you get nostalgic? for me, its cicadas. Pretty chirping noise during the summer, you can even pick them up, or they'll land on you. pretty rainbow/greyish color with prickily legs. i loved catching them and petting them as a kid and hopfully i'll go somewhere to hear them again.


I would not say insects make me nostalgic but they can give a certain feeling. When I see insects when I am in the forest I feel peaceful. Being in the wild removes the stress I have when I'm in the city. When I am in the city I worry about what I need to do.




Life sucks.


has its upsides and downsides


Sometimes when I browse the internet and I find something which is nice, but not too nice, and is a bit time consuming after a while I get into a very unpleasant mood:
I start trying to devour it as fast as I can with anxiety to finish it because I kinda want to check it out, but at the same time I don't want to come back to it later and also I want to get it over with asap. I get this feeling that I need to check everything out, sometimes already thinking about the next thing I have to finish after this one and I actually often stop enjoying stuff in the process. Usually I end up feeling overwhelmed and unhappy when this happens


I've been in training. I am now the fiercest predator to walk the earth. Hunting for a game-trail.


I wanted to post some stuff to this site last night but, I got a massive headache. It felt like I had nausea and felt like I was overheating. It makes me sad that I got a headache because I lost some of my ideas that I wanted to post. This also is negatively affecting me today. While it is subdued now, there is some pain and, it made this morning hard. Particularly my drive to university was more difficult because I am usually stressed and paranoid driving, but now I was in pain and not thinking straight.


The only relatable personality traits that I have are being a degenerate and being somewhat racist.


Your feeling of being unrelatable is relatable to me


Ciao /yu/, do yous ever get like a 'shadow' or a voice talking or stating things to you directly in your mind (not an auditory hallucation bc it happens inside not outside)? I think as many anons have stated was a different self with almost a different personality to what they were just experiencing, but what I mean is being 'pocessed' with complety different person
Like for example I am addicted to fapping, so when I do nofap, I usually get an increase of conversions with the Other;
>Life is gonna be a repeat of a repeat of a repeat and you'll age like fuck and noone will want you
>you're gonna get weaker and thinner and literally be unable to hold a sheet of paper
>(if I text a friend or state what I believe we should do) that is extremely stupid and rude , and you just fucked up the relationship
>youll never get a girlfriend (or) the girl you're interested into is already in a relationship (I don't know at this point)/will cheat later or sooner (usually this one makes me relapses cuz the addiction is a surrogate of a relationship)
>everyone is talking behind your back and are only putting up a façade just to be kind
yeah usually this increases when Im going without fapping, but it happens regularly though. So I blame my shadow (yes, I admit I am fully responsible for my actions at the end but Im saying there's a temptation) for that shit but I'm suprise that my instincts/or whatever has a 'personality' or conscienceness to it. Though it can get worse (like I feel my body move).
So I wonder if anyone here has the same experience with shadows, cuz I can relate to experiencing different personalities/emotional states and headaches throughout the day for things I never did have headaches on.


Your feeling being a smartass is totally relatable to me.


To Expand It: What Are "Us" If There Were No Us Some Wrong Way.


Don't Worry: good Ideas Come And Go And, Ultimately Return As Good.
Some Fluff Is Going Know-Where.


You're are like only 85.5674% Sincere here. C'mon, You Can Do Good!


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i need 3 things in life: pepsi, hugs and cute anime girls


Is there a way we can bring niceness back to this community? i know its partually due to being (sometimes by outsiders, sometimes by rouge 22channers) raided and attacked for no justifyable reason almost 24/7 but it's something i've missed. perhaps i'm being stupid and it's something i've been blind too, like if it happend recently and i missed it.
i think its probably just that, but just a reminder that it's important to our community and it's what seperates us from 4chan, i mean their pretty much awful now, and i'm glad we stopped with the whole "r u a newfag" thing which i think scared away any newfriends back in the day. yeah i think we're doing good. i definetly need to force myself to post more.


that sounds spooky


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I feel so tired lately. Not numb like depression or sad or anything, just constantly exhausted. I fall asleep immediately and often too early, and wake up late, still tired. It bothers me because my whole life I've always gotten up early, like 5am to 8am LATEST. But lately everyday its been 8am, which has been stressing me out.
I only ever sleep in when I'm sick or depressed and I'm currently neither. Maybe I'm not eating enough or am catching up on all the sleep I've ever missed? Who knows.
I'm on a short fuse now because of it. I get stressed from waking up late which makes me internally snap a bit throughout the day. I get stressed at tiny things: a bit of mess in the house, someone talking too loudly, anything. Then if someone asks me a question I'm unable to answer them bc my mouth won't open and speak. I'm not the type to really complain to people I know or tell them whats wrong, so I just internally steam as people in my real life talk to me. I want to slap them to shut them up, I just scream in my head "shut up be quiet I don't care." It's not like me to be such a dick, even if its still on the inside. I'm worried I might finally snap at someone.
I'm tired right now too.


I feel like a girl.
I want to dress like a girl.
I can't.
I want to talk about this to at least my mom, but i dont have the strength to do it...
Right now i feel like i am stuck, waiting for when i can live alone.
Most of my family is really transphobic, the only one that i think that could accept me without any words being said is my grandma.
I really like her.
For some reason, most of my life i didnt show emotions to anyone, so my family would never suspect it, and for the same reason i cant even cry.
I just feel like i am wasting my life, but if i tell my family, my life is going to turn from a peaceful, hollow existence, to a hell of mockery, but at least i will be who i want to be!!!!! :(


geez hopfully you'll get some rest


Im tired of it all and I have noone to talk to.


what happened?


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It always feels like I'm stuck somewhere in life and it never changes. I'm stuck being alone, listening to the same music, watching the same youtube videos about my never changing interests and wasting my day all the same. But what else can I do? I do the aforementioned things for a reason, to at least somehow feel solace and at least limited enjoyment of this life, because outside of that there is nothing for me. Ditching the things I like won't lead to anything. So what should I do? Start listening to normalnigger music that I hate? I might have something to talk about then to other people but I won't suddenly start enjoying that, and it's pretty much impossible to establish any bonds with anyone through one-sided hate.
From the people that I know, I am quite sure that none of them would pick me as a go-to-person for anything, there always will be someone who fits their needs better, so why even bother. I don't know when I'll reach the point of when I truly can't take a single drop more.
So to directly answer your question "What happened?":
nothing happened
as usual.


I think i have an unorthodox solution to your problem
You don't exactly have to be alone though, unless you really want to. you can use 22chan as a medium to express yourself and talk about the stuff you like with other people via threads, livechan or even the cytube.
what ever fashion, like in a show and tell type of way or something like "how do you guys feel about this?" (seriously no one will act like a nigger if you want to talk about stuff here that you like)
also try to shake things up, there's tons of diffrent music and videos, movies, audiobooks, literature, everything on the internet or in a library. try new things or try doing the same things in a diffrent way. if not 22chan, there's diffrent non normalfag websites out there maybe kinda sorta or just find a club or something irl.
(or you can watch or listen to normalfag shit because screw it you probably never heard or watched it before anyhow)


Do any of you guy's use social media?


I'm >>2115
I had sort of a revelation last night. I never really fixed my apathy. I was sucidal at a very young age and I was never treated, it was never even acknowleged. I never was put on meds or went to therapy for it. I don't think I ever left my depressive episode. I'm still apathetic, and its an upwards battle against apathy every single day.
I'm running out of reasons to go on. I look for them quite desperately and anywhere I can find them. But I have no good reason anymore. I don't even have the excuse of public appearance nowadays. My future seems bleak because I can barely function living at home. I'm so tired. I even stopped really leaving my room. I hardly have the motivation to eat, and I definitely havent been taking care of myself as well as I have managed in the past. I just barely get up because of the idea I could possibly talk to a friend or maybe draw something later. I wake up for this imageboard, too. I'm so tired.
I slept 13 hours last night and I'm still tired. I don't really have anyone to talk to and if I do blurt it out to one of my few friends I feel so guilty I try to never mention it again. I don't want to die, but I don't really want to stick around here. I feel like I'm clawing at the sand or treading water. Even when I'm doing alright, I'm not making any progress toward getting better. I'm just maintaining the bare minimum so I don't crumble into dust when I'm not looking. Even when I attempt to self improve, even with spuratic bursts of energy and the willpower to do it, I have no reason to. I don't care about my own goals, I don't care about anything.
The only solution I can think of is to just.. let myself fail. Just give up for a little while. I am afraid to do so because I'm scared I'll never come back out again. But trying hasn't worked. Maintaining doesnt help either. I'm stuck in a limbo where I can't succeed but I won't let myelf fail either. I'm young enough that even if I disappeared for a few months it wouldn't be detrimental. It's not like I'm succeeding the way I am. I don't quite know what would happen if I give in but if I fail again I might off myself.
It's kind of an extreme solution, to just give in, but I really don't see any other option. I've tried to get motivation from everything I can think of. People I know won't help me, if I'm honest they'll put me in psychiatric for being a danger to myself. I really messed up in the way I dealt with it and if I say one thing, the rest will have to come out. I'm not sure what I can do.
What to do?


Have you ever sought out treatment? My best friend was suicidal until they put him on some happy meds, and he is doing a whole lot better now.


Possibly. I'm not suicidal yet so I don't think its neccessary. I don't really have money to pay for treatment, anyway, nor health insurance. I thought about it but it might make things worse.


One thing's for sure, keep talking about it.
staying silent will hurt you more then anything and im sure this is a gay overused reply, but do you have any hobbies, perhaps persuing a hobby might help you.


I just took a final exam and did poorly. I did bad because I thought the exam was open until midnight like every other test I had in the class. Apparently the exam was due 6 pm not midnight. I did not know this and ended up only having 14 minutes to do a thirty question test. I got 50/100 on the exam. My final grade for the class is a 80.22%. My issue is that the professor switched up the timing for the final exam. It was also hard to hear over zoom because it is laggy. I could have gotten a A in the class if I knew about this before I took the test.


That sucks man. It wasn't considerate of your teacher to switch up the timing like that
But at least getting 80% isn't that bad, especially considering you could've missed the last test completely


My teacher decrees things, and it goes no buts. 80% isn't so bad, but I want a bigger scholarship, so I don't have to worry about running out of money.


Nobody finds it fun to be anon anymore and real life has become too intertwined with the workings of the internet as a whole.


I am not one of these people, but I think people use the internet as a validation machine. People do this with relationships in real life too so maybe the internet is the surrogate relationship people are attempting to use for their lackluster relations or lack of relations.


I am in a bad mood for no explicable reason. I just don't get it. It started raining and thundering and I started to feel bad. I am at a loss for words.


that sounds right, whats sad tho is that nothing's really done to prevent it from devoping further.


There's this device that should help you, it wraps around your neck after you tie it to the highest area you can find and to make it work, you just jump and fall.


Summer is coming up in a few weeks and I've realized I want to accomplish a few things during my break from university. One immediate problem is that I usually go with the flow and make excuses when I don't accomplish something. Usually, the excuse is "I've been busy with school work" or it is "I want to relax". The second excuse isn't the worst excuse in the world, but I use it way too often. During summer I will have work, but that won't be everyday. I will write a list of what I want to do everyday. Do you have any advice anon? Is making a list a good idea?


Hello anon. I relate to your struggle.
I don't really know what to suggest to you though. I currently have a list, but I just can't ever seem to follow it. Some things stick, some don't, some work at first but then I quit
But I guess it's worth trying. Maybe you could also set deadlines? I tried and failed, but that's because I set them too distant
Something which I hear often suggested is to work "for someone else", I mean, make yourself responsible in front of someone else. You could promise a friend for example, and share progress with him

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