/yu/ - Feelings


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> Pic realted

It's my first time posting here, hoping this board is kind of active.


I'm not trying to be a dick, (or a keyboard warrior) but i need to explain how this imageboard works anyhow. In 22chan one of the reasons that this board exists is to avoid cancer that is 4chan, another reason is to talk about old stuff like from the 90's or whatever. not exactly important info. Now, please read the rules and faqs, and if you did already you'd realise that we have this thing about seeing if there is an existing topic or thread made so you don't end up making duplicates. Why? because there's no thread timer where a thread gets deleted after a week. its only like when there's 5 pages (about 500 posts if im correct) when the thread gets deleted. what's going to happen is all those threads will stay up and people wont realise that you are the same guy that made all those threads and will get confused. make one thread please and stay on that untill it gets deleted. what i forgot to mention is that instead of getting deleted it gets archived. so even if you stop posting on a thread for a long while and its old, dont be afraid to necrobump that thread. its not an issue, having 9001 threads around the same topic of the same shit your going through is an issue though. what will happen is that this thread will get deleted and all the other threads you made will get moved to /yu/. /yu/ is the board about feelings, emotional topics and such. /b/ is about random discussions unrelated to all the other existing boards. /sewers/ is for funposting/shitposting, and the list goes on. PLEASE lurk moar op.


Now with that out of the way, lets talk about your issue.


All that shit your talking about is taken out of context. its paranoia. (besides the posts talking about your dick uncle, and the robbery, and you being a jerk to everybody)
Your most recent thread actually proves your paranoia.

>But until then, I will be holding vigils and watching my back. It's necessary, I ditched my pocket knife at the airport, but I have a machete. It won't stop a bullet, but I think I need it tonight.

>carrying around weapons everywhere like a madman

wonder how that looks to people and how that would look to your family.

>I don't know what to do. Whenever I talk to my dad or my mom about running away again, they simple say that I can't. That it's just not gonna happen. I think it's possible, but I still have my concerns. My family has this influence, and it could be my downfall.

They dont want you to run away because
1 they love you
2 you can seriously hurt someone and yourself

>I feel as if my doctors, my family, this entire town, knows about me.

No duh dipshit. this happends to everyone.
why would it seriously matter anyway, whats the docter gonna to to you? in order to see the docter anyway they have to get your address for billing. if you want to keep them away eat an apple.

>not being able to take a shit ect

maybe thats one reason why everyones worried for you

>Waiting for the one who puts a bullet into my head.

Fucking who and why? because you where a dick to everyone? grow up. that wont cause someone to kill you, if anything it would be because of something serious like brutally murdering someone.
It could happen tonight, or a month from now.

I don't know what to do anymore.

>My mom said that "anything can be done if you have enough money". I can feel whatever she may be implying.

That was taken out of context you nig nog. she means your living situation can improve if you clean up your life up a bit and gain some shekels.

>My doctor says that "she knows people".

no to hire a hitman on you of cource because thats logical.

My sister says that she wishes that I felt safer, that everyone was healthier, that she hopes we'll feel calm and settled one day and comfortable, "you know?".
>Even the memes my frens send me seem like they have implications
but still, its not like any normal person would send you handcrafted personalised memes JUST to fuck with you.

>My uncle keeps singing this song (in another language) that goes "Because I was not your fren, nothing more.", while saying his nickname for me.

He just handed me a plate of food.

Probably was being a dick i dunno at least he didnt throw the plate at you.

>Just yesterday, I walked in on my sister crying. As if she was mourning. We talked for a couple of hours, and she kept trying to talk me down from worrying about my safety. But then it started to seem like she was trying to trick me into believing that I'm safe.

that was COMPLETELY talen out of context.

>She was talking about how my mom made a "purchase" for my cat. How she won't need to have a cone on her head for much longer because she ordered a protective vest for my cat.

>I worry about what that could possibly mean.

Maybe because the cat's a hired hitman that was made bullitproof so you cant shoot at him
its because hes old or sick and they dont want the cat to hurt itself.

>I get it, many people will come to convince me that I'm talking crazy, but I can't be so foolish, can I?


>I've hurt these people in the past, it would only make sense for them to want to hurt me.



I mean it's good and all that you actually reached out to talk with outsiders like us, but you really gotta think about this
did anyone even hurt you yet at all? you need serious help, and diagnosed properly before you do anything rash, and if you iron that out, at least you'll be able to talk it out and prove that someone's actually going to kill you.


Okay, I'll think of this next time I decide to make a post related to all this

It's not just being a jerk or being a dick to people. I mean not even my own mother seems to care for me. She keeps saying things like "you need it" and shit.

Cars keep speeding past my house, non stop, revving their engines. I feel like people have my address.

I don't know, anon, my dad called me to say that he would rather me go to Mexico instead of to his place in California. That I'd probably feel the same as I do here.

I feel as if I'll die before the end of the month or I'll be killed by someone in Mexico.

I don't know what to do anymore.

I'm taking my meds, talking to my counselor, trying to talk to my family, but I still feel like they're trying to con me. My mom tells me she wants me to feel safe and comfortable, but she doesn't seem to care when I tell her I want to be far away from this neighborhood. I believe I'd feel happier and safer in a one bedroom apartment by myself. But I can't do that right now. She said she'd withhold the title to my car, because she doesn't want a mentally ill person driving around.

She suggested I go to hospital, or that she whoop me with a belt if I wanted to feel pain. I don't know. I think about it sometimes, but my counselor hasn't mentioned it, even after all I've told her. She says that she wouldn't hurt me. My dad says that too. But I wouldn't say that my uncle wouldn't either. Or anyone else for that matter.

I am thinking about it, but no, I haven't been physically hurt by anyone. I've been diagnosed with Anxiety and Depression, my counselor put in a note of mild psychosis, and my psychiatrist say I'm experiencing feelings of paranoia. Yet I still worry for my safety, even with a diagnosis like this. I get this impression that many people don't like me, complete strangers in my town tend to treat me like shit for whatever reason. Getting on the bus is difficult, I feel as if I've been noticed by some of the people in my town, and I struggle with that feeling. I feel like someday someone will get fed up and try to take me out.


All of op's threads so far, just to help anyone who doesnt know what's going to catch up.


Are you still here op? is everything fine now?

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