I woke up later than usual (10 AM) today. I went to bed at 3 AM but I feel like I lost some valuable time today. School is starting tomorrow but there was one complication. I can't find the time I am meeting in my Accounting II class. I am going to look more, but it is annoying. There is also a expanded mask mandate at uni which is retarded. One good thing that happened today was when I weighed myself I posted 3 lbs or 1.36 kilos. A 6/10 day overall.
What made you stay up so late?
I wanted to do an all nighter, but I got bored and decided to go to bed. It is funny in a way now my sleep schedule I screwy after trying to a all night.
I'm wishing you a good day at school tomorrow and a peaceful night's rest.
Tomorrow will honestly be uneventful due to the school being half online and half in person (tomorrow is the online day). It is kind of a waste because it feels like I am not learning. Perhaps I should go on campus and do homework to break the monotony of life. My schedule this semester is two days a week so maybe I shouldn't procrastinate this semester.
I've heard it's good to take short breaks and to add in different study routines, so going to campus to study sounds like a smart idea. What made you decide to take Accounting?
I choose Accounting as a career after doing a thorough interest survey. The decision was reinforced when I did another interest survey in an introductory course in uni. Also leading up to writing this post my cat was very excited to see me for some reason. He did a very happy meow I wish to capture someday because it is very cute. The meow sounded as if I had been away for a while. The only problem with the cat's excitement was he slightly inconvenienced me by disconnecting the cable that connects to the monitor I use.
I'm wasting time mostly. I'm a bit overwhelmed, can't focus much. I'm on the line between feeling pessimistic, unenthusiastic about my near future and dreaming about what I want to achieve. But mostly I'm sad and tired without a real reason. I kinda want to be left alone for a while
On the upside I have everything I need now for my plans, and university isn't going too bad
What about you?>>2287
I went to sleep at 3:30 AM and woke up at 10:30, pretty close. It is really annoying when it's hard to find info like that. Anyway good luck with uni
I've always wanted to try one of those surveys. I wonder what kind of class/job it would recommend me. As long as it brings you joy, keep at it. Also, you must now obligatorily post pic of cat, anon. >>2294
Sometimes, depression just happens. I hear a good thing to do each day is to write one good thing that happened during your day, or one thing you are grateful for each day, even if it is small. It helps you realize not everything is always so bad. What kind of dreams do you have?
I don't have a life-goal type of dream, but I enjoy making music as a hobby. That's what I'm set on currently
Thanks for the tip
That makes sense. I hope you can find an inner sense of serenity so you can fight the soullessness of it all. Thank you for the blessed image. What's his name?>>2297
Music is an awesome hobby. Are you willing to share any of it on here?
In a sense I may be like my Dad in a sense that my main concern will be my family/love ones. If my dad choose not to have a family he probably could have gotten by on way less but he loves us. I could probably retire early if I had no one in my life to provide for besides myself. I have my hobbies but I am more wary to spend money on disposable items. So I am probably going to work for my family or get out as soon as I can.
>>2298>Are you willing to share any of it on here?
sure. Recently I got my mike set up so here's two tests that I made. They aren't serious attempts at songs or proper recordings, I just wanted to try things outhttps://files.catbox.moe/9k9g6y.mp3https://files.catbox.moe/7etl99.mp3
I'm not good but I don't really care. I have fun
Even for a test, it is pretty
Best advice I can give is keep a portion of it for yourself to save up. Keep it secret, no bank or whatever, but just a stash of money to slowly build up for yourself only, even if you have to work otherwise for your family or loved ones.>>2300
Unironically reminds me of some indie/more obscure bands. Not bad at all. I'd love to hear more of your music in the future.
I may be unintentionally working on this already. I am in a Personal Finance class in university and I will learn relevant facts about saving money.
Today was fine, doing better than yesterday. A few unfortunate things happened early in the morning and I spent much of the day pissing time away in a dream. But today was fine, just class and doing work and listening to music.
I've been concerned that I'm pushing my friends away. I don't have many to begin with, but I don't feel too compelled to talk to them. Maybe I just don't care. Kind of bizarre as usually I'd go to the ends of the Earth for anyone who bothered to care about me, but I also tend to move on from friendships quickly. I feel bothered by them, but I feel cruel for thinking this way.
I want to travel with the north wind, I hate being tied down by this pandemic. I keep day dreaming of leaving everything behind and going somewhere without telling anyone, but if I got murdered or into any trouble, no one would know. Feels weird.>>2300
Good stuff anon. You have a lovely voice, especially in the first one, and they have a nice melody. Though, the execution is a tad awkward at times.
>>2304>I've been concerned that I'm pushing my friends away.
While I haven't been in that situation mainly due to not having a stable friend group I must ask you a few questions. Have you asked your friends if they have noticed you acting different? If they answer yes could you ask them to explain themselves? Did they do anything that bothered you? Also the pandemic has totally pulled the rug out on everyone. Without getting into politics I must say that it is important to examine your goals in life seriously.
That's good. Let me know of any personal finance tips you learn, I could probably use them myself.>>2304
Have you ever thought that instead of pushing friends away, you could set some kind of boundary or "time" for them? For example, you call your friend Steve on a friday every 2 weeks to chat for a bit. You still get some interaction but you also get plenty of alone time, too.
If you decide to travel, you could always just occasionally send a text to someone updating them on how you are, ect. I think it's a nice dream to have, but it's a form of escapism in a way. Maybe there is something inside troubling you instead. Another thing is maybe you just haven't found the right friends.
I just purchased the textbook today and will be having the class tomorrow. Did you want to hear about my classes yesterday?
Sure, if you want to. You can talk about whatever here.
I didn't have my accounting class the first day because the teacher decided she would only teach in person. The second class was on zoom and zoom was unstable because my two siblings were also on zoom. I was disconnected from the chat. It took a bit to reconnect but when I reconnected it was strange. This girl was arguing with the teacher. The last thing that was said was by the girl and she said she was from Ukraine (the professor is Russian) with a thick country accent. It was a strange end to the class. Personal Finance was nothing noteworthy. Today was my in-person day and it did not start well. I was a minute late and the professor seemed annoyed by me being late. Another reason I thought the professor was annoyed was that she got onto me for not writing something fast enough. Today was my first quiz and it was an easy assignment luckily. I hope I have positive momentum.
That does sound really strange. Does the girl have something against Russians? I'm sorry your day didn't go well, especially with the zoom nonsense and the lateness.
Don't take it too much to heart. Accidents happen and you can't please everyone.
I am not sure exactly why, but some Ukrainians resent Russians for historical reasons. Yesterday I had to inflate the tires because they were a little low. It took longer than I thought it would. Required stuff for uni had to retrieved after that and the time added up against my luck. How have you been doing alphabet? Is /yu/ your favorite board?
I knew that Ukrainians disliked Russians but was this girl a slav? Really odd regardless.
I've been okay. Life has been throwing me curveballs for awhile now but I think I'm starting to get back on my feet, slowly... knock on wood. I don't know if it's my favorite board. So far, I think it's either this or /b/ because of the /int/ thread, which I used to post on back during the stone age.
I am not really sure if the girl is slavic. Her first name could be but her surname is heavily westernized if it was changed. During virtual class her camera was not working apparently. In person class we have to wear muzzles also known as masks so for all I know the people I run into could have a deformed faces for all I know. It also doesn't help I sit in the front to see the board well and it would be seen as weird if I looked backwards during class. Your situation seems similar to the situation that contributed to you leaving last time. Hopefully I am overreacting because I am enjoying this thread. We don't really have a /int/ threads these days so I hope those random threads are what you like.
Seems like you are still having some issues. I hope your time is slowly coming back.
I saw what the Ukrainian girl looks like and the photo looks extremely cursed to me (the lighting was a little off) lole. The name also lines up with other people who westernised their names.
I love /int/ threads so yeah, I agree with you on that. You aren't over-reacting, this is the place to talk about stuff like that.>>2324
Haha, just when I think life is going to go well again, I get fucked over. What can you do, I guess. Don't wanna go into detail but it sucks.
>>2325>Haha, just when I think life is going to go well again, I get fucked over.
I am glad you are not neglecting this thread and you are doing your best to stay active at least here.>F
Yeah, the photo was taken in the middle of the lobby in a dorm building at night. I thought people would put more effort in photos of themselves. I never take photos of myself because I am a perfectionist in this front.>this is the place to talk about stuff like that.
I wish more people would talk here.
I promise not to. Life has just gotten seriously ridiculously difficult again. Funny to think I was so positive a few days ago. That is a weird way to take a photo, I won't lie. Maybe it is just an unflattering photo?
I wish more people would too, this is meant to be a somewhat comfy thread, or just general in a way, of all the ills and joys of the world that we experience
I am extreamely thankful that you are following your thread. Are you coping well? It wasn't completely unflattering, but I am puzzled why you wouldn't choose one of your top quality photo. I guess she thought it was cute. It is comfy to talk anonymously about your life definitely.
This second I am not coping well. I was coping, but then was hit with even worse shit, so now I'm not. I mean first it was medical problems, then work problems/money problems, and now relationship problems all stacked on top of each other. It's never ending.
Yeah, that is weird. I hate having photos taken of me, though. If she liked it, then good for her. Also yeah, maximum comfy
It seems like people who already have problems in their life get more problems in their lives and people who have little to no problems more or less stay at the same difficulty in life. This is sad phenomenal in life. I am not sure what makes the more fortunate people better and what they have that we don't. I hate photos being taken of me partly because I am a perfectionist as well as that my mom likes taking photos when something that isn't mundane is occurring like eating a premium burger.
You're right, but I can only hope things look up. Keep positive attitude. I don't want to be where I was last previous years mentally. It's just our cross to bare, though it doesn't feel worth it a lot of the times.
I just hate photos taken of me unless I take them. I used to not like taking photos of things but I've noticed I've become someone who takes a lot of photos now of random shit.
This thread is useful to monitor your mood and basically vent. I personally have felt better than before because this thread is a good place to talk honestly and frankly. I am sad people only go here when they are really really down and depressed. I feel like they could use a outlet to monitor their life situation and how they feel on a daily basis. One thing that happened today was a dog came up near me while I was on a trampoline barking hostilely It was strange and put me on age while I was outside today.
Yeah, that's exactly my reasoning for this thread. It's a just talk about your mood, life, vent, whatever you want.
Here's one good thing that happened today.
Sorry to hear about the dogs. I used to like dogs a lot but I've become afraid of them a bit. I think they can sense it and so they get all snappy with me, when it never was like that before.
One good thing today was that I tried one of those peanut butter protein things and it was pretty tasty. Not exactly the most exciting thing but I was pleasantly surprised.
>>2334>I used to like dogs a lot but I've become afraid of them a bit
The context I see dogs in are horrible if dogs want me to like them. They are aggressive seemingly for no reason and all these dogs tend to be big dogs. I probably need to warm up to them.>I tried one of those peanut butter protein things and it was pretty tasty
What does protein even do? I hear fitness people talk about it but I have no clue why they do talk about protein.
Also I have to go to a job fair hosted from Chick Fill A or Hick Fill A as my brother would call it. I am not sure what this entails but I am worried.
there is no way to be complete
the space are limited
and we are all occupied
but i guess to be ignorant is bliss and to believe in nothing shall prove you superior at all cost
you are only as good as you are allowed to be
guess i was never that lucky to push any further.
being queer and not being queer invites about the same kind of problem
see? im straight as a pencil now and it s still troublesome and cringe as hell
you must be proud
face the truth
you just broke me in half
a minute ago
you are so straight you cant even bend
lgbt is being legalized so that these pretend-straights dont fucking flip around the queer that is themselves
now now if you are not that lucky
dont push it -stingray64
and the straights now can be less queerer and instead o fucking each other, now they can do it legally.
i hate poor people, theyre so poor they just have to get into everyone s business
just fucking spare them already i csnt fucking stand them and their cringeass demands
i cant pay all of them
my brain resets watching lifechanging movies
maybe i ll finallh evolve into the only sardonic celbrity the world could evee want as i have nothing else>>2286
What are you people even trying to do? quit derailing this thread by schizoposting.
This and would you kindly stop using reddit spacing please.
i was talking about >>2345
Just ignore them if possible.>>2335
I agree with you about dogs yet somehow I still like them, just terribly afraid of them. Also protein helps build muscle. Don't be worried, by the time I've written this you've probably already went.
I had a doctors appointment yesterday. It went as usual for the most part with normal procedures and such. Towards the end of the appointment it turned out I needed to get two shots. The puncturing of the skin part didn't hurt but the aftermath hurt and it still hurts. It is painful right now to work out my arms because the strength is drained. It has been almost a day and it still kinda hurts...Strange.
In the last 5 months my eye sight has started to seriously deteriorate as prior i had 20/20 perfect vision but now its around 12-15/12-15 its as though i cant focus on anything any more its really starting to get to me.
ive been thinking of going to a eye doctor (too late for me to remember what they are actually called) but its a combo of laziness and 30 minute bus ride to the city from me.
Sometimes I start to wonder "Most people did not do things I have"
I attempted to kill my own mother in 2019. I revolted against my nature in such a violent way. A child loves his mother. She had done nothing. She tried to be the best for me.
Imagine if I went through it. The kid she had gone through excruciating pain bearing, the child she loved dearly as a prodigy, to her a crown on her head. No more. All of it vanished, the moment I had plunged my knife into her neck.
I'd be held in a mental institution, for a long long time. I would never have forgiven myself.
I didn't speak or show any emotion for 2 weeks straight. That's better than the eternity I would have suffered if I had done it.
A child is supposed to love his mother. I am a failure in doing so, in fact no mother deserves to have a child who even thought of attempting to murder her.
There are folks who would kill for their mothers. Who would kill those who even insulted their mothers. I am a subhuman, undeserving of any love or care.
I apologize to my mother for bearing such a malformed, emotionless and cold child.
I even attacked my little sister. I was supposed to be her protector. I wanted to do that. I failed in doing so.
My older brother hated me, still does. I hated him too, but as I grow I sympathize with him. If I were my older brother, not only would I bully myself, but I would've probably killed myself so that the world does not have to suffer such a societal tumor.
She still doesn't trust me, but I try to mend my problems.
I remember my dad always telling me "You're smart, you can figure it out!"
But the truth is, I long for something. I try to cope and tell myself that my true love is knowledge or some shit like that, but the truth is more sinister. I simply cannot show love.
I don't even know what love is. I hated those who did. But this searing jealousy has disappeared, and instead of it an acceptance of my inferiority.
i feel the same way after i get shots. what was it for?
Flu and Tetanus shot. It hurt especially this time because it was in both of my arms.
Today was an exhausting day. It was raining hard while I was driving to university. The class went well today. I also got a good score in the first quiz I took today. When I got home I hit a couple of speed bumps. My daily walk took longer than expected. After I finished my walk I started my homework. It took over 4 hours to do. After doing all that I feel drained.
I'm going quite insane, i want to just slam my face against a brick wall. This godamn sensation, like when you play a song with bass boost in your car, in my ears constantly. I didnt break an eardrum and my ears are quite clean and now its absolute hell every day for three days. Dont know what to do, cant find anything online to fix it. have been listening to music but its not an every day thing, and its cranked to a normal level. so i doubt its related. (after waiting for this post to go through i think its tinnitus?) hell if i know how to treat that, several sources say that it'll dissipear over time or some nonsense.
Despite the day being long and exhausting, I have a hard time getting to sleep. University has started so I have exercised less so I have more energy before I go to bed. I could exercise more but my I would get less sleep. Another issue I've noticed is that I need to get in a perfect position. The issue there is my leg naturally touch each other I can't stop myself from doing that. The last issue is that I am paranoid from a recently robbery of my families shed.
>>2372>I've noticed is that I need to get in a perfect position. The issue there is my leg naturally touch each other I can't stop myself from doing that.
Are you laying on your side? there are special pillows that can prevent your legs from touching eachother in that position if that's the case.
Sorry to hear it was painful. It could be they shot you in the wrong place, which might cause a bruise.>>2360
Did you happen to start using computers/technology more often in the last 5 months, or do you think it's unrelated? Unfortunately computers can make eyesight worse. I would go to your doctor to make sure it's not something serious, though.>>2361
I'm very sorry to hear that, and I wish you good mental health so that your suffering eases.>>2369
What was the quiz about? Congrats on the good score. And to your second post, have you ever tried the trick that army pilots use? I'm sorry to hear about the robbery.
>>2375>It could be they shot you in the wrong place
The nurse gave me a shot in the right area. It was just the medicine working that was painful. Shots always gives a soreness in my hand.>there are special pillows
I don't have anything close to special in the pillow department. My pillow look ancient. That sounds costly so I don't know if I should buy one.>What was the quiz about
It was about Macroeconomic on market trends. I honestly don't remember clearly because the class is small thing in my week.>have you ever tried the trick that army pilots use
No I haven't have issues sleeping so there was no need to try that.>I'm sorry to hear about the robbery.
The scary part about it is I have no clue who it is. It could be a neighbor, some petty criminal, or a psychopath.
Today I only had one class. I would have gone to the second class but my school was snowed out and the teacher had to take care of her kids. Overall it was a comfy day. I went out in the snow and got wet from slipping and falling a lot which is found humorous because no one else in my family was having that issue. I also shoveled my trampoline. I went sledding which was very fun despite a dog barking at us. I bet the dog was jealous. I love how I got just enough snow to enjoy it but not enough to be overwhelmed.
Never seen snow irl before. Is it too cold, or just bearable ?
Well, Cat it is cold if you do not dress appropriately, that comes with the territory of snow. If you dress in a heavy coat or long pants you should be completely fine. Just make sure you don't slip like I did if you don't enjoy having wet clothes.
Today was an even colder day today. That fact took a while for me to realize because for a moment I thought the snow was melting but it turns out it was snowing. I didn't go sledding like yesterday but I took a walk in the snow. It was comfy because it was fun to see a novel surrounding. I had a few falls today as well, luckily I am a young man and my body is resilient. The worst part of today was that I had to do the work I would be tomorrow in a class. My professor in that class is not a pro with technology so she wouldn't be a pro at teaching over a computer. Because she isn't good with technology she will only be working out the problems tomorrow. Listening to music put me in a better mood.
Sorry I haven't responded in a long while, everyone. Life is hectic and pretty shitty. Feel as if I'm going into a depression again.>>2376
Hm, I've never had that problem but if it's normal for you I guess it's no big deal. Your test sounds pretty boring, I'll be honest. I would set up cameras if I was you if you are worried about an intruder and keep a bat or some heavy object behind your bedroom door so you can use it as a weapon to protect yourself.>>2379
We don't have snow where I live except in the mountains. I've only seen snow once and used a snowmobile. Was pretty awesome.>>2384
What kind of music did you listen to, anon?
>>2387>Feel as if I'm going into a depression again.
Why not talk it out here. I can do my best to try to help.>keep a bat or some heavy object behind your bedroom door so you can use it as a weapon to protect yourself.
I don't where I could hide the weapon where an intruder wouldn't find it.>What kind of music did you listen to, anon?
I listened to some Black Metal lel. I am finally growing an appreciation for the genre.
Mental health, work, and relationship issues all combining. Every day feels like a chore and I feel completely empty inside.>I don't where I could hide the weapon where an intruder wouldn't find it.
Could always buy one of those secret books that hold stuff and keep a gun or knife, or maybe keep a thing of bear mace?>>2388
Nice, what black metal bands? I used to know a guy who was really into metal so I know some stuff about it.
>>2391>issues all combining
Compounding issues is the worst. It is like 5 people ganging up on one person in a fight. The only thing you want to do in the situation is to relax.>what black metal bands
I only had time to listen to one band. I was listening to Necrophobic which is kinda a death/black metal hybrid meaning they have elements of both. I appreciated it because it was relaxing while the snow was coming down. The band also has good guitar leads. Bathory is also a new favorite because Quorthon (the main guy) has a lot of variety. Quorthon has a lot of folkish moments and a lot of heavy moments.
Fellow BM head?
Awesome. I recommend Thy Light if you want some sad black metal, or if you like lighter sounding stuff check out Summoning and Caladan Brood.
Not quite yet a BM head. In the last few months, I've realized I have been missing out. I hope to get into more BM but as of now, I cannot classify a BM head yet. I have quite of few black metal releases I am looking to listen to. I'll add your suggestions in as well. Do you want to know what albums I am looking at listening to?
Tomorrow is going to be tough. I am going to be at university for a long time and I have a test.
Let me list it alphabetically. Abigor-Channeling The Quintessence Of Satan, Ancient Ceremony-Under Moonlight We Kiss, Bathory-Hammerheart (I really like what I've heard so far), Bathory-The Return of Darkness and Evil, Black Funeral-Empire of Blood, Borknagar-True North, Bryan Eckermann-The 7th Sin, Burzum-Burzum/Aske, Catemenia-Chaos Born, Celtic Frost-Morbid Tales, Crimson Moonlight-The Covenant Progress, Cult of Fire-Ascetic Meditation of Death, Dark Funeral-Where Shadows Forever Reign, Darkthrone-Panzerfaust, Darkthrone-Arctic Thunder, Desaster-The Oath of an Iron Ritual, Dissection-Storm Of The Light's Bane, Emperor-In The Nightside Eclispse, Enslaved-Frost, Falkenbach-...magni blandinn ok megintíri..., Gehenna-Seen Through the Veils of Darkness, Graveland-The Fire of Awakening, Hecate Enthroned-The Slaughter of Innocence, a Requiem for the Mighty, Immortal-Sons of Northern Darkness, Covenant-Nexus Polaris, Lord Belial-Enter the Moonlight Gate, Master's Hammer-Ritual, Master's Hammer-Fascinator, Mayham-Live in Leipzig, Mesarthim-The Density Parameter, Moonsorrow-Voimasta Ja Kunniasta, Morbid-Year of the Goat, Mystifier-Goetia, Nagelfar-Sronttgorrth, Naglfar-Diabolical, Necromantia-Scarlet Witching Black, Nifelheim-Nifelheim, Nocturnal Mortum-Голос сталі, Necrophobic-Mark of the Necrogram, Dark Fortress-Ylem, Root-Zjeveni, Sabbat (JAP)-Envenom, Sacramentum-Far Away from the Sun, Sacrofago-INRI, Satyricon-Dark Medieval Times, Sojourner-Premonitions, Sorhin-I det glimrande mörkrets djup, Summoning-Minas Morgul, Thy Light-Suici.De.pression, Tulus-Mysterion, Ulver-Kveldssanger, Venom-Black Metal, Venom-Cast the First Stone,Venom Inc.-Ave, Vulcano-Bloody Vengeance, and Windir-Arntor.
I am excited to dive into all of this and it makes me happy that I have the capacity to enjoy more music. How does black metal make you feel anon?
Nice list, thanks.
(I laughed at Mayham, black meatal)
Would you like to talk about any of the bands I listed? It would be interesting to hear your perspective.
I am more of a drum guy, I listen to BM mainly for the blast beat. There's some "classics" in your list that remember me my childhood (good parenting). But I have to say, Windir has that synth touch you can't forget. Try Windir - journey to the end, there is a surprise inside.
It was a tough day. I had to go to school in person. The test I had was not incredibly difficult, but it took time to remember the material. The test felt like a math test with its format. It started with multiple-choice, then matching, and it ended with word problems. After I finished the test I had two more classes. It was grueling to get through especially because those classes occurred when I would usually eat. When I got home I ate some cold Dairy Queen. It was really good. I then had to do some homework which I wasn't happy to do. After that, I did my daily exercises. What I missed that day was being able to sit down and relax. Today I broke my trampoline. After 10 years I guess it rusted and it collapsed on my weight. Personally, I can't really blame myself because it was inevitable. Pic related to what part of it broke. When I looked on craigslist I saw there was a free trampoline. The only issue is that it may not be available and the location is in a sketchy part of town. I am not scared I am just reminding myself that I need to be careful. Also, remember that dog that ran up to me? The dog is a neighbor and now I have to deal with it barking at me while I jump. It is really annoying especially since I have another dog barking at me down the hill.>Windir - journey to the end
That is a great song. I've liked that song for a long time. It is really catchy and the synth part oddly satisfying. Also, we should probably move our conversation to /mu/. If you wanna talk more about black metal this thread would be a good spot.https://22chan.org/mu/res/489
This week has been hectic and I am exhausted. I am not sure what I want to mention but I feel that I need to take the next few days easy despite what I need to do.
I don't feel like harping on the last few days. Today was a comfortable day. It felt good to have nothing due. Having a day to do as you please is nice. The trampoline may be able to be fixed. It is just one part that rusted and fell apart. Perhaps I could be jumping more sooner than later. I also ate 10 blow pops (lollipops) and I enjoyed the bubblegum flavor.