/yu/ - Feelings

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 No.2875[D]

>have anxieties that occasionally get pretty hard to bear
>lift, wanna gain muscle, but consuming the required protein in a day is extremely difficult
>try to fall asleep at midnight, lay in bed for two hours, wont touch my phone, stay awake until 2 am
enter... the grass
>anxieties= gone
>protein= consumed
>sleep= easier and sooner
>life= good... right?
i dont like the idea of being dependent on something external like a drug to maintain a higher morale; id really rather deal with it on my own but the release the green gives me is hard to argue with
plus the brain fog you get the morning after can be fucking unreal i dont even know if this is coherent or not

 No.2876[D][DF]

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>>2875
You are heading down a slippery fucking slope, anon. I suggest you leave that shit well alone.

 No.2877[D][DF]

>>2875
have you ever considered using a weighted blanket to help you sleep

 No.2880[D][DF]

holy shit this board is fast
>>2876
im aware of the implications. i don't do it every night, usually once or twice a week at the most but i do keep in mind the potential for addiction/ dependence
>>2877
no but that sounds worth a try

 No.2881[D][DF]

>>2880
Another thing to consider in reguards to sleep is light pollution, even if it's tiny like led light from a charging computer to light from a big surge protection/backup battery. Even if it's one of those LED clocks it might fugg up your sleep. https://www.health.harvard.edu/staying-healthy/blue-light-has-a-dark-side

 No.2882[D][DF]

File: 1613140245117.jpg (239.04 KB, 769x1024, 769:1024, 1632937380125.jpg) [Show in Hex Viewer] [Reverse Image search]

>>2880
>anxieties= gone
It's like that at first. Down the line you start getting anxious without it. Even further down you start needing it for activities and such.

>sleep=easier and sooner

That's true... as long as you're high. Once your body gets used to the high, good luck falling asleep with out it. It's hell.

>life=good

No. Fuck no. I believe weed is the most dangerous drug because everyone acts like it's harmless when it's far from that. Weed will steal your mind away from you.
I was a pothead for five years, tried it in my early 20s and got hooked like a fish. At first it was wonderful. Everything was fun and easier. The world had more color to it. Then you get used to it. Every other day becomes every day. It doesn't hit as hard anymore, so you roll bigger joints. You start buying more. Before you know it 2/3 of your paycheck is going to weed. You don't go out anymore because weed. You haven't seen your friends in weeks because weed.
I lost three very good friends because weed. I chose staying home and getting high over meeting them. I didn't even notice, at the time it seemed natural. They eventually stopped trying to contact me because they were uncomfortable with watching me deteriorate into a drug addict. Five years later and they still won't admit it. I talk to one of them irregularly. I haven't talked to the other two in months. Once I realized the situation I tried engaging with them, hanging out... Didn't work. A lot changes in five years, especially people. They weren't the guys I remembered. They'd changed and I didn't fit in with them anymore. They were my best friends, I've known them since we were teens. The three of them are all still good friends and they regularly hang out. I'm just not a part of the group anymore.
What of friends you make through the weed? People you meet up with to smoke? They're not your friends, they're co-dependent. It's nice to meet up for a smoke because that makes it feel like a social thing, not a dependency/addiction. Then if you give it up these people have no reason to hang out with you anymore and vice versa.
Weed deteriorated my health. My lungs aren't as good as they used to be. My will is weaker. I have less confidence now. I'm not as good at typing as I used to be. I have anger issues because I'm angry at myself for wasting five years getting high and playing vidya. I'm angry that I spent hours in front of the screen binge eating cakes and candy. I'm angry I let myself sink so far down. I used to buy bags of candy roughly as big as my forearm, get high and devour them overnight. The damage I've probably done to my body makes me sick.
Weed makes you okay with everything. That sounds cool at first but what it really means is you'll become apathetic. You're okay with doing nothing and having nothing, as long as you're high. Weed makes you okay with stagnating. It even affects you in the days after. You're slower, drowsier. It's kinda hard to explain. It's like your personality becomes sloppy, like you're a flat version of yourself.
Weed can also show you some truths about your life. Once I was hooked, I noticed I was happier high than sober. I didn't know how to deal with that so I just kept smoking. Eventually I was forced to confront my problems and deal with them. Now I haven't had a smoke since January. The last time I smoked I lit up two grams by myself and had a mental breakdown afterwards. I smoked up in the garage and couldn't convince myself I'd closed the door, even though I remembered doing it. Went outside five, six times to check. With my phones flashlight, taking videos of myself closing my garage door over and over in the middle of the night. Neighbors probably think I'm retarded. I am in a better place today but life is different. Time passes differently for me now. I don't really notice it passing. The days sort of melt into one another and form one, continuous hum that makes events from two years ago feel like yesterday. After months of being clean I feel my mind is slowly returning but every day I wish I'd never tried it and I try to accept who I am and the path I chose.

I realize how preachy this might sound but this is my honest experience with weed. You sound a bit like me when I started getting into it. You do you but keep this behind your ear.

 No.2883[D][DF]

>>2882
>I realize how preachy this might sound but this is my honest experience with weed
no its necessary to get the truth out there when needed, the truth in this case being that weed is not a harmless flower. best thing we can do is make sure people are at least somewhat responsible and knowledgeable with what they're smoking or drinking
> You do you but keep this behind your ear.
duly noted anon

 No.2884[D][DF]

I thought weed helped me but I started a break a month ago and have felt significantly less depressed and more lucid

 No.2887[D][DF]

>>2884
>significantly less depressed and more lucid
I relate to this hard. It's strange, once you're on it you convince yourself that it's beneficial. Yet when you kick it you feel so much better without it.
I've often thought about this. I know a lot of people who say that weed helps them, yet they never really seem better. They're just sorta stuck in life, never advancing beyond their current situation of work/smoke/sleep. They don't seem happy, either. Just like... neutral. Sometimes I've even wondered if weed is some sort of mind parasite.

 No.3081[D][DF]

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op here
haven't smoked since halloween, i feel great
>get absolutely blasted at a friend's party
>feel pretty hazy the next morning, and the following night i have another party another friend invited me to
>decide to stay sober for the this one
>at the second one, another friend of mine shows up
>turns out we both made plans to have a late night conversation session with another mutual friend after this banger, sort of a chilled out afterparty
>driving him there since we're going to the same place and he didn't have a car
>brother was also with me during the previous night's occasion
>was telling me how extremely crossfaded i seemed, like i wasn't even enjoying it
>then, jesus christ
>i realize that for the past few months, every time ive been with my friends ive been under the influence of a drug
>this realization makes me very upset
>tell bro as im driving that im going straight, starting tonight
>that was over half a month ago
>haven't drank or smoked anything since then
as stated before, im feelin great, and much more lucid and in control of everything
give it a try if you havent done it in a while, straight breaks are a great way to reacquaint yourself with your mind if you feel disconnected like i did

 No.3083[D][DF]

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Ever since I quit weed my memory has gotten a lot better and I'm remembering many memories I'd forgotten. Most of these are bad memories that cause me great distress.

 No.3085[D][DF]

>>3083
It's always healthty to learn to cope with terrible memories no matter how much stress they cause, You'll end up stronger.



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