/yu/ - Feelings


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>be in like third grade
>there's this girl i like who's a grade above me
>there's this fag a grade above her who she talks to a lot
>i was an annoying kid and wanted to git with the girl
>but i had to get through him first
>our grades all had recess together
>recess is where i would run around and seethe to myself as i watched the other douche talked to muh lady
>decide to tell him what for
>one day i see him going into the bathroom
>youre mine motherfucker
>awkwardly wait in the corner until he finishes his transaction and begins washing his hands
>i dont remember why i waited
>go up to him real close
>"hey kid"
>"what's up?"
>"you uhh, better stop hanging out with muh lady, or else"
>i was short for my age so this kid is like eight inches taller than me
>"or else what?"
>fuck didnt think of that
>remember the classic 80s school bully move
>"or uhh ill give you a swirly"
>fucking smirks and says
>"what, a swirly like this?"
>locks his arm around my neck before i get a chance to react
>drags me kicking and screaming to the stall
>there's piss in the toilet
>oh jesus jehovah and allah
>he starts laughing as he coerces me lower, over the soiled toilet bowl
>the door creaks open
>he stops for a second and looks outside the stall with me still in a headlock
>its one of his faggot friends
>"yohoho dude check it out im giving this kid a swirly"
>"wooaah what a loser!"
>they both laugh as he shoves the top of my head under the pissy surface of the water
>the toilet flushes
>its really fucking loud with my head in the bowl but it did end up washing a lot of the piss water out of my hair
>he lets me go as i watch them looming around the stall door, laughing with giddiness at the piss headed midget
>the main douche gives me one last dialogue
>"that's a swirly, bitch!"
>him and his friend hi-five each other and leave the bathroom
>i sit, piss headed
>didn't talk to that kid or the girl again
>found out in my senior year that she gave him hpv or some shit lmao


not only did you learn a valuable lession not to be a bitch, but you also won in the end because the bully got AIDs


>15 years old
>it's my birthday
>decide to make myself a coffee with some coconut oil
>serve myself too much coconut oil
>didnt really know any better about serving sizes and i also didnt realise that it's like fiber on steroids if you know what i mean
>not only did i shit my pants, but i also got stuck on the toilet FOR THE ENTIRE DAY
>my parents also decided because i was a grown adult, that it was the last birthday where i got presents or really did anything nice because i was a "grown adult"
>totally wasted it and never did anything fun, wasnt allowed the chance to try again on another birthday because i missed out
>now every birthday is just a regular day and i try not to think of it as anything important.


>to make everything worse i wasn't even given a gift because apparantly adults dont do that with other adults at all


one more L that happened to me a few days ago
>there's a coffee shop in town i like to visit
>the cashier there is this cute alt girl
>not necessarily hard-on for her but i notice her glasses look good on her
>she had these rounded frames that fit the shape of her face well
>as she's handing me my drink i say "oh, also, nice glasses by the way"
>i notice her smile beneath her mask
>"thanks, i got them replaced recently"
>she replies as im going up a staircase to a second lounging area of the cafe
>decide to hit the triple double
>"they fit your face well"
>she gives me a look like she's really tired of my shit
>her brow straightens and her cheeks beneath her eyes lower
>i dont think she's smiling anymore
>"your first compliment was sufficient"
>give her a nod that says "whoops, didn't mean it ill go away now"
>go upstairs and nurse my hot as fuck latte
>aw jeez why did i say that aww she hates me i know it aw lawd
>finish my coffee
>go downstairs
>don't look in her direction, my business is done here and i will leave now
>there's a window where i can see the reflection of the cashier's face as im exiting
>i notice her looking at me for a second in the reflection before sneering away from me
>ok bro
either she was being mean or i was being a weirdo, but the compliments seemed awkward at most
i chuckle at it now either way

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