/yu/ - Feelings

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 No.3129[D]

baby dun hurt me
a friend told me a quote he heard somewhere about this
>love is not a feeling, but a choice
i interpret this as meaning that love is when you choose to accept somebody entirely and invite them into your life, despite their flaws. another way i think of what love is, is when you're honest, trustful, and not judgmental towards someone, i think of that as a form of love too.
of course you also have the love languages, like gifts, physicality, theres like four more of them. i think there's also something like love modalities but i forget where ive heard that one if it even is a thing.
wat eez luv

 No.3130[D][DF]

>>3129
Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs.
I am not entirely certain what love is yet but I know it has these qualities.

 No.3131[D][DF]

>>3129
[spoiler]https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CKA32jiXnjw
>what is love
>baby dun hurt me
Don't hurt me, no more.[/spoiler]

 No.3167[D][DF]

File: HIGH APPROVAL.gif (540.86 KB, 316x306, 158:153, 1640236795112.gif) [Show in Hex Viewer] [Reverse Image search]

>>3129
i was talking to someone about this, they told me that there is an important difference between being in love with someone and actually loving them.
like, being in love with someone is purely emotional, it's the honeymoon phase where you're still crazy about each other and fucking like rabbits and that stuff. truly loving someone means staying with them even after that first phase, when they annoy you and probably drive you crazy sometimes. but if you truly love them you'll find the ability to look past those negatives and embrace the good stuff for which you really enjoy each other.
doesn't exactly answer op's question but it's worth mentioning.

 No.3169[D][DF]

>>3167
>but if you truly love them you'll find the ability to look past those negatives and embrace the good stuff for which you really enjoy each other.
How would you distinguish that feeling with friendship, sure its obvious that there's romance but then again I see romance as a balance between platonic and sexual love for someone, so it's more how you would see someone as friends with benefits
>>3167

 No.3170[D][DF]

>>3169
Some people like to fuck, some people like to love.

 No.3171[D][DF]

>>3170
>Some people like to fuck,
And this is one of the reasons why many relationships don't work anymore. It is pure nativity to think that building your relationship purely on lust will work or will not hurt you. If you have sexual relationships willy nilly, you are chipping away at your soul. Sex can save your self-esteem for a time, but it cannot save your soul. Love is more profound than lust. It is true that lust plays a role in a loving relationship, but it is not the main reason to be in a relationship. Lusting after many people is nothing more than searching for something you don't have because it is directionless and leads to nowhere. Normalizing bad behavior like sex addiction makes it harder for people who want to love. It is harder because sometimes the people you want to love have been damaged by people who used them sexually. We should be ashamed of this degeneracy that affects everyone.

 No.3172[D][DF]

>>3171
I agree. I don't like sex without affection. It's a waste of time to open myself to someone who will only appreciate me for half an hour or so. A lot of effort for less.

 No.3173[D][DF]

>>3170
Yeah but the problem is telling the difference between the two, like why can't a straight person be in (true) love with someone of the same sex, if love is something that overcomes traits, flaws, etc, i.e it has no bounds
>>3171
>It is pure nativity to think that building your relationship purely on lust will work or will not hurt you.
True, it's selfish, and lust is temporary
>It is true that lust plays a role in a loving relationship, but it is not the main reason to be in a relationship.
Okay, but again why would lust have to be in the relationship at all (I'm playing devil's advocate bc I agree with sex being necessary), would it be right for someone to leave a relationship if the other person was say, disfigured, so that there wasn't any physical attraction. Why is it okay to deny a relationship because someone is ugly yet bad if they become ugly latter on. Ha, I'm thinking of all those couples who've became fat, don't think they'd pledge love for then if they saw the future selves in front of them

 No.3175[D][DF]

>>3173
What the hell are you trying to say?
>Why is it okay to deny a relationship because someone is ugly
>would it be right for someone to leave a relationship if the other person was say, disfigured
Both those things are perfectly reasonable because no matter how many Disney movies you watch, looks are a big part of the fucking thing. They aren't all that matters, but they still matter. Even so there are relationships that overcome even disfigurement. There was a guy with no arms on the news a couple of weeks ago and even he had a girlfriend.
I don't think that what you're throwing up was the point of the previous anon's post at all.

 No.3176[D][DF]

>>3172
If you're willing to try different tactics or methods, sex is fairly easy to get. However, none of those methods appeal to me.
>>3173
>lust is temporary
And then you have to actually live with the other person. Taking this route scares a lot of people, and a lot of those relationships fail because neither party truly wanted to love the other. The other person was used as a vending machine for comfort and validation.
>would it be right for someone to leave a relationship if the other person was say, disfigured, so that there wasn't any physical attraction
If you were married I'd disagree. I disagree with the idea of leaving someone because you need to pursue your partner and remain faithful to him or her. It's not because you don't have your spouse, but because you want to keep your relationship interesting and lively. Your love for your partner shouldn't be affected by their appearance. If you are dating it is more complicated because they might bail on you.



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