/sewers/ - The sewers of 22chan



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chong ching cheng /sewersu/ panda?
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ni hao


ни хуя to you too


yup. looks about right

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Here I go!


good shid op


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well that ended with a bang

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we doing this again?
one day ill get out of this cube
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who put him in the cube in the first place?


The pressure to conform of modern society

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this is the last time I'm going to quiznos.


What did you expect from a fast-food sandwich shop?


Reminds me of the shid I used to do when they served disgusting food at my base and I tried to mask the taste with bread.

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Please remember to call people out on their spammy bullshid, here's a free reaction image to help you make the internet a slightly less shidty place.


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ok OP, here's a pic i found to help your cause

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"Do you, like, ever let people into your meat-locker to, like, uh, you know,
fuck around with the meat?" I asked.

The short-haired Greek man looked at me strangely from behind the counter.
Several of the waitresses glared in my direction.

"What you mean 'fuck around'?" the dumpy Greek asked.

"You know, like shovin' your dick in and out of the openings in the meat.
Then, like, getting a bunch of smelly, sticky cream of tubesteak all over the
junk that you grind into foodburgers," I informed him.

"Naw. We don't do that. You don't do that. Nobody do that," the imbecile

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OP! OP! Is it over? How does the story end?


The greek calls the cops who arrest the guy, but then they fuck the meat, the guy AND the greek
[spoiler]jk it's over[/spoiler]

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post bread goddamnit
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What the actual fuck have I made



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Awwww shieeeet.........


>elementary school

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I posted my dick and then deleted it because I realized nobody here wants to see it.


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No secret posting allowed


No need for that "s" at the end, I am the only one (and I'm NOT op). I waited for your permission to share the scriptures. Well, so much for that...
But it's fair I guess. hAVE A NICE DAY​

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...i am redartation
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On the phone, the kid says how -- the day before -- he was just a little stoned. At home in his bedroom, he was flopped on the bed. He was lighting a candle and flipping through some old porno magazines, getting ready to beat off. This is after he's heard from his Navy brother. That helpful hint about how Arabs beat off. The kid looks around for something that might do the job. A ball-point pen's too big. A pencil's too big and rough. But dripped down the side of the candle, there's a thin, smooth ridge of wax that just might work. With just the tip of one finger, this kid snaps the long ridge of wax off the candle. He rolls it smooth between the palms of his hands. Long and smooth and thin.

Stoned and horny, he slips it down inside, deeper and deeper into the piss slit of his boner. With a good hank of the wax still poking out the top, he gets to work.

Even now, he says those Arab guys are pretty damn smart. They've totally re-invented jacking off. Flat on his back in bed, things are getting so good, this kid can't keep track of the wax. He's one good squeeze from shooting his wad when the wax isn't sticking out anymore.

The thin wax rod, it's slipped inside. All the way inside. So deep inside he can't even feel the lump of it inside his piss tube.

From downstairs, his mom shouts it's suppertime. She says to come down, right now. This wax kid and the carrot kid are different people, but we all live pretty much the same life.

It's after dinner when the kid's guts start to hurt. It's wax so he figured it would just melt inside him and he'd pee it out. Now his back hurts. His kidneys. He can't stand straight.

This kid talking on the phone from his hospital bed, in the background you can hear bells ding, people screaming. Game shows.

The X-rays show the truth, something long and thin, bent double inside his bladder. This long, thin V inside him, it's collecting all the minerals in his piss. It's getting bigger and more rough, coated with crystals of calcium, it's bumping around, ripping up the soft lining of his bladder, blocking his piss from getting out. His kidneys are backed up. What little that leaks out his dick is red with blood.
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This must be why girls want to sit on your face. The suction is like taking a dump that never ends. My dick hard and getting my butt eaten out, I do not need air. My heartbeat in my ears, I stay under until bright stars of light start worming around in my eyes. My legs straight out, the back of each knee rubbed raw against the concrete bottom. My toes are turning blue, my toes and fingers wrinkled from being so long in the water.

And then I let it happen. The big white gobs start spouting. The pearls.

It's then I need some air. But when I go to kick off against the bottom, I can't. I can't get my feet under me. My ass is stuck.

Emergency paramedics will tell you that every year about 150 people get stuck this way, sucked by a circulation pump. Get your long hair caught, or your ass, and you're going to drown. Every year, tons of people do. Most of them in Florida.

People just don't talk about it. Not even French people talk about EVERYTHING.

Getting one knee up, getting one foot tucked under me, I get to half standing when I feel the tug against my butt. Getting my other foot under me, I kick off against the bottom. I'm kicking free, not touching the concrete, but not getting to the air, either.

Still kicking water, thrashing with both arms, I'm maybe halfway to the surface but not going higher. The heartbeat inside my head getting loud and fast.

The bright sparks of light crossing and criss-crossing my eyes, I turn and look back… but it doesn't make sense. This thick rope, some kind of snake, blue-white and braided with veins has come up out of the pool drain and it's holding onto my butt. Some of the veins are leaking blood, red blood that looks black underwater and drifts away from little rips in the pale skin of the snake. The blood trails away, disappearing in the water, and inside the snake's thin, blue-white skin you can see lumps of some half-digested meal.
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What my folks will find after work is a big naked fetus, curled in on itself. Floating in the cloudy water of their backyard pool. Tethered to the bottom by a thick rope of veins and twisted guts. The opposite of a kid hanging himself to death while he jacks off. This is the baby they brought home from the hospital thirteen years ago. Here's the kid they hoped would snag a football scholarship and get an MBA. Who'd care for them in their old age. Here's all their hopes and dreams. Floating here, naked and dead. All around him, big milky pearls of wasted sperm.

Either that or my folks will find me wrapped in a bloody towel, collapsed halfway from the pool to the kitchen telephone, the ragged, torn scrap of my guts still hanging out the leg of my yellow-striped swim trunks.

What even the French won't talk about.

That big brother in the Navy, he taught us one other good phrase. A Russian phrase. The way we say: "I need that like I need a hole in my head…" Russian people say: "I need that like I need teeth in my asshole…"

Mne eto nado kak zuby v zadnitse

Those stories about how animals caught in a trap will chew off their leg, well, any coyote would tell you a couple bites beats the hell out of being dead.

Hell… even if you're Russian, some day you just might want those teeth.

Otherwise, what you have to do is -- you have to twist around. You hook one elbow behind your knee and pull that leg up into your face. You bite and snap at your own ass. You run out of air, and you will chew through anything to get that next breath.
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>Turn on sphere.
>Ask sphere for tomorrow's weather.
>Five seconds later, it breaks.
Welp, guess it won't be pleasing.
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clearly it was raining globes then, the fuckers ded


;_; rip sphere anon you will be remembered



Oracle says: Try again

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superstar rock


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kcor ratsrepus


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sndǝɹsʇɐɹ ɹoɔʞ

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Your Fortune: Good Luck
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just letting u know.................


do not eat crow


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no, he's a pancake lad. he's ok!


>>2622woah checked


a being of pure energy cannot contain his true form for long

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