I used to feel like this when I couldn't stop touching my member every single day then I distracted myself with other IRL hobbies like cooking for my family or going to the gym. I put a lot of work into these hobbies that I enjoy which made me more motivated to start enjoying other stuff more.

That sounds like depression, OP. I used to feel like that and still do from time to time but I can handle it better now. That process of feeling better took a long time. I cut toxic people out of my life, vastly improved my diet and started exercising five days a week. Slowly, but surely, I started feeling better.
What that other anon said about masturbation is very true as well. Jerking it every single day is not normal nor healthy.

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>>118
I also want to add, what originally brought me out of that pit was Christ. Do with that what you will.

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Just once I wish somebody would say "that's interesting, please tell me more" and be genuine about it. I have so much to say and share but it seems like nobody ever cares to listen. I always have to coax people into listening to me talk about stuff they obviously don't care about and it hurts. I feel deeply unloved and unwanted by every person I know because even though I take great interest in them and everything they do, they never share it back.
I'll never give up trying, but it just hurts. I've been trying for what feels like forever and I've never met a single person who loves me or even just enjoys my company beyond a surface level.
Perhaps I'm just socially starved...

>>136
Coaxing/forcing people to tolerate your company is a terrible way to make friends.

>>138
I mean 'coaxing' as in just simply talking about the subject without their input. Sometimes I'll say or write things in a way that will prompt a certain question that I want to answer and it works most of the time.
I suppose I didn't word it correctly

>>140
What are you talking to these people about that they find so uninteresting?

>>142
Just about anything really. I have a passing interest in things like psychology and philosophy but most people aren't very interested in that stuff. I like to talk extensively about media I've interacted with recently because I get a lot of ideas from them as well. Though, that sort of stuff is usually pretty long-winded. I've tried to join communities about stuff that I'm passionate and interested in but it seems like my thoughts and opinions about it are always the "wrong" ones and I'm swiftly ejected from the conversation. Either that or I accidentally say something wrong without realizing it and I'm not given a chance to fix it. That's happened so many times now that I outright avoid trying to get involved with larger communities because it never ends well. I'm also an avid writer and getting people to read my stuff is always a pain but I am aware that's less of a me problem and more of a writer problem. It's something a lot of people experience, which makes sense.
At this point though I'm just venting, because there are a few select people who are willing to tolerate my autism at least somewhat, which I appreciate, even if I do have doubts about their true intentions, and they obviously never read anything I write that's longer than 4 sentences.

>>145
In my experience when I was miserable and nobody liked me it was 100% due to my behaviour and personality. So maybe you have to work on yourself before anything else.

>>146
You should elaborate because it sounds like to me you are telling 145 to dumb himself down to other peoples standards.
>>145
I think I used to be a in a very similar boat you are in where the majority of my friends completely ignored me when I wrote to them with long posts about the interesting stuff that I enjoy and wanted them to take part of the conversation. You'd have entire chats that looked like I was some crazy person rambling to myself with the receiver of those messages not bothering to reply to anything I wrote and sometimes when they did it felt completely forced. I now mostly ditched all of those friends when I found a person that shared similar interests and views to mine and was willing to listen to my stuff if I was willing to listen to their stuff.

>>147
I'm not telling him to "dumb himself down". If you get kicked out of ten restaurants, is the restaurant at fault or are you? I'm just saying maybe anon has some problems he needs to work out before the bigger picture starts to come together.

>>136
>>145
I'll address the writing part mostly, as that's what I can relate to most.
I like making music. When I first started, I shared everything I did with my friends, who were supportive with their words but clearly didn't care about it much. After a while I just stopped sending them stuff, and we're still good friends to this day. I know they care about me, just not for my music. s'fine.

There is a very real feeling of wanting others to take a look at what you've come up with. Unfortunately, that rarely gets satisfied. Personally, I've coped by submitting my stuff to community projects, like the collaborative album we have going on /mu/. That typically guarantees that at least a couple people will give my track a listen.
For you something like that could be the 4chan quests board. A quest is a type of interactive writing where the audience gives suggestions/picks options for the writer. It seems fun, and we've had a few of those on old 22chan too even though they never got anywhere.

At the end of the day, I think nobody owes you or me interest/attention for our work, and the reason we're not getting it is because we're just not that good. But in reality we shouldn't even care or be motivated by it, since we should write/compose just for the joy of it, shouldn't we? Sadly it's not like we choose how to feel.

There are amateur communities out there focused on sharing feedback. They typically don't chase out or exclude people for no reason. Also, you could try looking for somebody you can relate to like 147-kun. I have such a friend as well. Our interests have some overlaps, and we mostly respect and understand each other's tastes and views.

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Today I found a shitload of mold in one of my bedroom windows and realized I've probably been breathing that shit in for months.

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>Think "it's about time I start reading some of that stuff on the Sacred Texts website"
>Decide to start with Alchemy because it's something I'm already relatively familiar with and it's at the top of the list
>Starting with The Hermetic Museum is the smartest thing
>Find out that it's two full books filling thousands of pages worth of knowledge
>These books are only a fraction of the 20-something odd books spanning possibly hundreds of years worth of scientific experimentation
>It is also an absolutely tiny fragment of the sheer amount of information held in raw text data on this site
>Literally thousands of years worth of history, science, philosophy and theology held in a well organized digital library of transcripts from real books
>Already feel overwhelmed and I haven't even started reading the title pages yet
I want to so badly know these truths but I don't know if I have the will to spend months scrolling through page after page of this shit. There isn't even any guarantee I'll be able to understand it fully, or that any of it is true to begin with.


Of course I'm exaggerating a little bit but this is what it feels like, and I don't like it.

>>155
>https://www.sacred-texts.com/alc/hermmuse/index.htm
>one of the largest collections of Alchemical tracts, first published in Latin in 1678. Waite translated it into English and issued it in two volumes in 1893.
Interesting indeed. If you do embark into reading these tomes please share any particularly interesting moments you find

>>154
Same here. I think it happened because we reduced the heating to a minimum this winter. Now I'm afraid that the windows will have to be replaced at our expense. Yippieh!

Tomorrow I'll be going back to school, and I fear my mind will be crowded because I am worried about passing all my classes.

>>160
Just do your best, anon. Apply yourself and I'm sure you'll pass.

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>>160

I've had a hard time motivating myself to go to class. Although I've been in class, I've hated every minute. At this point, being around normalfags annoys me.

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Work has been rough recently. My team leader didn't want to work Thursday, and he took it out on the younger workers. In a cramped area, he drives a forklift while unloading trucks at 25 to 30 MPH. Some minor items are interspersed between or on top of the palleted items, and I yelled at my younger colleague for not going into the truck after he drove out of a cramped space. There were also absurd reasons he yelled at us for. One example of this was when we got yelled at for pulling off a pallet to load some items that the store would end up on a pallet anyways. I put one of the items on the conveyor roller, and low and behold, my team leader yelled at us for not putting it on a pallet when we were trying that a couple of minutes ago. I had to listen to a five-minute speech about how I should think better. We eventually finished the truck woohoo, and we then had to place the items against the area wall where the item would be stocked. As a team, we had to log that the item had been scanned and placed in the system's location. Our team leader thought I and this other coworker were doing the job wrong and called us. We then had to reiterate the process of the task we were doing. Overall that shift was worst than usual because it didn't have to be difficult. The truck was half the size of the average truck (the average truck is 800 pcs), and the store was quiet aside from the odd customer. I also ate a donut.

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I was reading Lackadaisy because the new pilot released a few days ago. The comic itself is really good, but the character Rocky was WAAY to relatable to me. It resonates way too much for me. It's honestly kind of embarrassing. The scenes after he recovered from his head injury in particular was almost exactly how I used to act ~5 years ago when I fucked up. The way Mitzy (the lady on the phone) talks to him is perfect too. It's so accurate to how a tard wrangler or just a really understanding and sympathetic relative would.
I guess this is the best compliment I could give to the writing, huh? Rocky's mental instabilities are so well done that it goes from being a quirky personality trait into just a sad and pathetic display. Maybe this is a sign I should go to therapy or something

>>193
>Maybe this is a sign I should go to therapy or something
unfortunately those infected with furfaggotry usually get euthanized.

>>189
hey, at least you got a donut.

>>154
that stuff is deadly, did you have any success cleaning that up?

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I was driving down the interstate, and I found out I needed to take a leak. I didn't have an empty bottle, so I have to drink my diet orange soda bottle. Diet drinks only make you want to leak even more. Eventually, I got to an empty parking lot, and as I got in position to do my thing, a university security guard lady showed up and just stared at my car. I JUST WANTED TO PISS AHAHAHAHAHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA.

>>205
You should have a designated piss bottle for those situations. In my case, I've gained mastery over my bladder so I can go an entire day without pissing, but the next day it hurts a lot so it's probably not healthy and I don't recommend unless you are under extreme circumstances

>>206
I had one, but when I lost my phone I removed my bottle from the car. Do you drink anything during the day anon? When I am school I go anytime I feel uncomfy.

>>208
I don't go anywhere most of the time, but I always have a 5L water bottle near me and I go through one of them in two or three days

>>210
It was my Dad's idea to remove the bottle, and I lost the bottle. It was a nice Arnold Palmer bottle.

I'm feeling a bit down lately. I'm in my early twenties and I'm struggling with growing up.
As a kid you don't really have a lot of choices about your life. You go to school, you do your homework and maybe play videogames afterwards. I did start to develop hobbies as a teen, but since the school situation was always difficult (and often stressful) I couldn't manage to put much dedication in them.
At some point you're supposed to gradually become your own person, but I feel like that hasn't happened for me, it's only gotten worse. I'm really struggling with taking decisions now, I still can't handle studying on my own, and I practice my hobbies a couple days every couple months.
I suspect I have a completely fucked up mindset. My initiative is dead, and even though technically what I'm doing in my life stems from decisions I took, somehow it doesn't feel like it. I'm still just living day by day, feeling pressured by "what I'm supposed to be doing" and instead doing nothing but distracting myself with videos and chans. Needless to say, I hate every second of it.

>>222
>At some point you're supposed to gradually become your own person
If it makes you feel better not a lot of people are their own person. Time is your greatest resource anon. Do you have ideas how to use it?

Randomly getting back memories of people who used to be my friends. No matter how many years pass, I will never forget them and I still dream about them and randomly remembering them. Then I try stalking their social media (if they even have that which most don't). I can't move on. Being friendless hurts more than anything else even if I have bigger issues I should focus on.

>>225
How did your friendships end usually?

>>226
Well, half of them abandoned me for no reason at all, then the others either stopped caring about me or I was forced to stop hanging around them because of my overprotective mother. And now I'm completely friendless and unable to move on.

>>228
>Half of them abandoned me for no reason at all
That has been the main reason for me. They get bored and move on to some person they are enamored with at the moment. I don't know what to do about that because it happens suddenly. Typically I don't see those people all of a sudden.

>>228
>>229
Remember to always be the friend you wish you could have

>>230
Yeah I know I did a lot of things wrong. But now that I'm aproaching my mid 20s I don't think I will be able to have friends ever again.

Since I've been looking for a job for a month, I've been waiting on two different recruiters, which makes me anxious. I can always call or send an email, but them communicating with places will take time for them to follow through, and it is making me overthink everything.

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>>251
Relax anon, You can't change the result anyway. Hopefully they will get in touch with you soon.
I'll keep my fingers crossed.

>>252
Having a summer without a really stressful job is good in itself. The money they said I could get just really excites me. I would like to build up my wealth to have a comfy later life while at the same time enjoying the time at this moment.

Today was a rough day at work today. As it turned out, my coworkers decided to work an overnight shift, and bizarrely, although they were there for 10 hours, there was a lot of work to be done. I don't know what they did for 10 hours because it left me with too much work considering the circumstances. It forced me to run around the building doing the undesirable parts of our normal work. The situation was made worse by the fact that I had a higher-up manager watching me since my normal manager was away. The way they made the work all over the place made it look like I was wandering the building and not being productive. I felt like I was being taken advantage of because they were getting overtime pay for not working hard. This is a reminder that normalfags are cancerous and will make things difficult without any regard. I don't know if I will ever understand why normalfags are so willing to make things hard for people.

>>267
I hope the higher up manager understood your intentions.

>>268
It probably wasn't the manager's decision but the team leader's decision. My team leader sometimes mistakenly thinks I can handle more than I actually am able to take. Things like that make me feel like I am being taken for granted.

>>269
There is no point in limiting my career to this job, so the best thing that I can do is find another job. This week I should start searching harder for a better job where I have the weekends off and better pay. It feels like I am limiting myself from working this job.

Normally, I like walking outside in the rain, but today's wind was too strong for me to do so.

I was promised a raise by my manager a few weeks ago. I did not receive a raise this week when I looked at my paycheck. I'm honestly at a loss for words when it comes to understanding what they are thinking. It is understood the managers will try to screw me over, but when a manager is on my side, I thought things would work out differently. I am looking for a better job but finding a job is easier said than done and, as I am looking, it would be nice to have more money to save up.

I had 3 South Americans today in the morning at my house to remove a bunch of big furniture that I don't need anymore which included this one big glass table that they accidentally proceeded to break on the road outside in the trash area. One of them decided to sweep just a little bit of it away from the road but it was just everywhere and then they just decided to say fuck it and leave and let me clean up after their mess even though I tipped them afterwards hoping they are going to sweep away the entire thing. I am a bit worried now if the city decides to do something like fine me because there's these extremely small pieces of glass everywhere on the road that I can't do anything about although I managed to vacuum all of the big pieces away. I don't know how to feel about this situation is this really the norm in America that these guys aren't responsible for something like this? I can't even go outside anymore without getting a bunch of pieces of glass stuck to my shoes that are too damned hard to remove...

>>305
1: wet dry vac the glass

2: attempt to sweep the glass

>is this really the norm in America
in my area this incident could be reported, and the'd get fined by the city (also the property owner/landlord) if they'd didn't clean up the mess they made since the glass is dangerous to nature and vehicles.

>>305
Yeah unfortunately it's pretty normal for blue collar workers and servicemen to be like that. Most of the ones I know are irresponsible retards, but there's a few good ones too. Just gotta know who to call and who to avoid

Trans people freak me out to the core.
They are sick!
A trans woman is just a man with mental health problem, or a liard.

>>155
Start off slow, read one link at a time and take notes on your progress and what you read so far. >>308
Agree.

>>116
I keep getting fucking slapped with nostalga and sadness for the early 2000's
I remember the music, the games and the media and i miss the hell out of it. It actually kind of hurts and i know maybe it wasn't a healthy time. The early 2000's when i was a child was drowned in media since i was a baby because my parents where all fucked up mentally and emotionally and when shit got rough they distracted me with fuckin vidya or whatever. I still miss the hell out of it, though.

>>336
It feels like nostalgia is almost unavoidable at this point because this decade sucks. Music, anime, and video don't hold a candle to games from before that people still love. Not to mention today's culture is extremely toxic and unbalanced.

My grandmother died yesterday, no more gandparents left. I feel strange inside and older.

>>344
Do you have fond memories with them?

>>344
I can relate to that feeling. It has been over a decade for me and when I hear other people my age talk about their grandparents I feel like I missed out.

>>345
Yes lots of good memories from childhood. :) On of the best things was the nice & simple food, of course, like vanilla pudding or beefsteak/meatballs with mashed potatoes.

>>346
Sorry to hear that. I assume you are still young?

>>349
Yeah, I am more younger than older (take that what you will). I wish I had them now so I could get emotional support for what I am going through from a source I feel cares.

>>116
yes. i'd say a large percentage of the empty feeling stems from trauma i have no idea what to do with. i remember i used to enjoy things freely when i was younger but it feels like my priorities have shifted the more chaotic my life has become with adulthood.

Yesterday, I was at work wage cucking, and my coworkers were especially mean. I was trying to get a box off the conveyor belt, and they kept pushing the heavy boxes full force, jamming my fingers. I tried to stop it with one arm, but they just pushed harder injuring my fingers more. On another occasion, I was asked by the team lead to remove a document he needed from some shelves. It was very important to him that I was very fast, but he didn't want me just to do it my way; he wanted to criticize me for using a different method than he did, which was just cutting the shrinkwrap at the top. His advice didn't work great because there were two layers of shrinkwrap, and he didn't want me to tear the shrinkwrap with my arms. My only positive experience was being asked to do something else by a manager.

>>116
i've been feeling depressed after severe bullying. i usually try really hard to be a mentally tough person but
i can't do it sometimes. ive been targeted by someone for a couple months, i think, they're starting to slow down the harassment but the amount of mental anguish they caused on me feels like hell. i dont know how to put it. i try really hard not to let it get to me and not give them the response they want. i feel like ive become a shell of the person i was because i never knew how fixated someone could be on wanting to hurt you and feel no shame. i feel guilt because i would respond back with vitriol but everything bad, they started it, and made everything 10 times more personal and involved.
i really can't do it sometimes. im never gonna kill myself out of spite but sometimes the thoughts get bad. i never meant to hurt anyone. i cant focus on school because all i think about is why they chose to do this to me and how they were able to get away with it. why don't they feel guilt. im disturbed that people like them exist because i truly feel like they felt no remorse or guilt for what they did. they never acknowledged all the damage they did to me and it feels like they will never develop that ability to feel guilt and continue trying to hurt me and others. they will never change and i question how this person is allowed to be in society.
anyways i'm not really sure how to cope. i'm working on moving past it but it's still hard sometimes enjoying the things i used to, to go back to the op. it feels like my priorities have been shaken ever since these events cascaded and it's hard to feel like the "old me." im hoping i can relate to others or read more about situations like the one i was in.

>>362
is it possible for you to leave? go to a new school or something?

>>363
a lot of it takes place online. i know cyberbullying's dumb but its more how obsessed they are with getting a reaction out of me that angers me. so no, not really. they know about my family, address, the school i go to, etc. i genuinely wish they would just piss off from my life forever. some random person can just fixate on ruining your life, completely unwarranted, for literal months simply because they're... what, bored? sadistic? i don't even understand the psychology behind it but i wish i could revert back to the time in my life where i never met them.

>>365
Did you try blocking them? Starving them of attention works sometimes.

>>367
they go to any social media i have and target me whenever i'm online. if i had a social life irl... i guess it wouldn't bother me. but i don't. i mostly talk to people on forums and the main sites i use are places where they post about me. again if i had an irl social life it wouldn't bother me, but i don't. i have pretty bad social anxiety irl and online is pretty much the only place where i get interaction from others as pathetic as it sounds. so i'm not sure. i guess i could find other sites to use.
i am also afraid that it will happen again. i was friends, or i thought i was friends, with this person until they started acting very sadistically towards me and wouldn't stop no matter how much i begged them to. i am scared that i will befriend another person and they will turn out the same. i have started feeling very distrustful of the people around me because it taught me that people can pretend to be nice so they can lure you into trusting them before purposely trying to harm you. it kind of broke my trust in new people and made me afraid of humanity as a whole.
sorry this isnt really a comfy post. im trying to move past it but it is surprisingly hard. i am trying to work on progressing in my life but it still kind of sucks.

>>370
and im not trying to victimize myself. but it's generally distressing, just this feeling that people can be completely sadistic with no remorse no matter how much you try to reason with them.

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>>370
I take it you're young so it's important to remember that people have a tendency to be cruel. Being in that sort of situation can be very very difficult, especially when they put you on the spot as a sort of gotcha moment. I dealt with that a good chunk in my youth too, though never as heavily.
There's a whole number of things I could say to you. I could recite all of the best quotes, point to the most legendary authors, the greatest minds and kindest hearts. That wouldn't do you any good. You won't get very far just "trying to move past it" if you don't have the tools to fight this battle. You cannot reason with them, you cannot simply "talk it out" with them, you must apply proper wisdom to get what you desire.
The best advice I could possibly give you is something you will likely find somewhat saccharine and stupid, but it's true. The power of kindness, and the value of belief. I've found throughout my life that at times the most vicious people can be easily tamed through simple kindness, and a warm embrace. It's a cycle of pain. All actions, all beliefs, all thoughts are manifested in oneself. Oftentimes bullying is a symptom of a greater problem, an inner issue of Ego and self worth. A fear of social rejection. They treat others the way that they do because of groupthink, because of a need to feel superior, because they find joy in others suffering. They inflict what they feel. They push away what they desire. You do too.
The first step is to move past it. Move past the pain. Accept it, let it flow through you. Embrace it. Then you can act clearly, and show them the love that you wish you could be shown. Say and do unto them as you wish they would do unto you. Be grateful for their presence, extend a kind hand when they fall. Believe in them, truly and wholly, even when they can't believe in themselves. Help them. More importantly-- never buckle. Never show fear, never debase yourself to begging, never give up. They will interpret any sign of "weakness" to be an opportunity to go for the kill once again. Respect yourself, love yourself, hold yourself to a higher standard than them, and hold on to your dignity. It is that dignity that will give you the strength to face them with stern face and wise words.
It sounds backwards, it sounds immoral even, to give love to those who so clearly do not deserve it. That's the trick, it is the test of all of your strength, all of your willpower. To even be able to do that is to show immense tenacity and power. That alone is admirable. However, you will find that the more you fight their weapons of sorrow and hatred with your blades of kindness and appreciation, they will fall as trees in fire, or grow as seeds in soil. They will either learn to appreciate you, or fight you harder.
There is nothing that can guarantee they will stop. Some never do, but that doesn't mean you shouldn't try. Perhaps, even if your attempts at saving them fails, you can try again with others perhaps more deserving of your love. Perhaps there is something invaluable, something unmeasurable that you can learn from this experience. You can grow. Time will pass, and you will be a better person afterwards than you were before. That is how it should always be.
Don't hide. Don't give up. Don't lose yourself, and when the word of justice falls, pick it up, and hold it higher.

>>376
Yeah, When life gets you down, You just gotta act like a shonen protagonist.

>>377
You laugh, but in a sense you're correct. Vitriol begets vitriol. Kindness begets kindness. Show kindness in the face of evil, and you will find that most individual evils in the world are born of sorrow, and to fight sorrow with anger is to tear yourself down, while building your enemy upwards.

>>376
>>378
i'm sorry but that's just not how i want things to go. i'm never going to forgive them for what they did. i feel myself becoming worse of a person when they choose to continue harassing me. people think you should forgive and love the people who hurt you but in reality no one is owed forgiveness, i would just feel worse being forced to "love" someone who hurt me. i just want them to move on from targeting me. it seems going no contact and trying to find other social structures is my only way to move on. i get that your advice is well meaning but there are just some people who will not change even if you try your best to be understanding. i tried, many times, to understand why they were targeting me. ive realized that it doesn't matter and it feels like a sense of relief. they wanted someone to harass because they don't feel remorse or guilt like most people and getting them to change with "love" doesnt work with everyone, at least enough to the point that it's not wasting precious time on this earth we could spend with people who do feel grounded by a sense of guilt and remorse. people who wont just hurt you because they want to isolate an individual for fun.

>>379
I never guaranteed that it would work, but the effort is worth the world.

>>380
not everyone is capable of remorse or change. youve never dealt with these people before, they're not capable of empathy.

>>383
Some people in this world are straight-up sociopaths so it is a waste of time appeasing them.

>>384
they're not sociopaths, they're narcissists. they dont gain anything out of a reaction from me. they do it for an ego boost because gathering resentment is their way of individuating themselves.

I wasted the whole day waiting on something that didn't happen. I was waiting for job recruiters to get back to me, but the job they are talking to are slow and unreliable. It is rough because I was hoping for some progression today.

My laptop had a corrupt file, and I couldn't get into the computer without a passcode. To access the code, I need to get into another account that I only have access to on that laptop. I forgot the passwords to the accounts I need to get on. The thing that is bothering me the most about this is my Dad thinks I am hiding something when I am just stupid. I am glad he is helping me, but I am getting paranoid that he thinks I am hiding something when I am just a fool.

>>443
i'm guessing you aint a porn addict and its doubtful you have anything to hide besides posting on an islamic terrorist cat worshipping imageboardand if you feel like shit might get worse you might as well do what you can to explain yourself especally if he thinks your hiding kiddie porn which is bullshit when in reality your doing nothing. i mean i dont like the idea of telling anyone irl that i post here but in some cases its better to say something then end up getting fucked when you least expect itm

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I am so lonely that it causes physical pain. It feels like two gigantic blocks of concrete pressing together, trying to crush my heart. The people around me can't do anything and don't care to.
What do?

Got my grades back for the last semester, got a D in a class I thought I was doing alright in. I literally don't know what happened. It's exhausting. I wish this were the first time. I feel like a failure.

>>467
The only practical thing you can do is stop blaming yourself for your loneliness. That is the first step to solve the problem. The second step is up to you. The loneliness stuff is relatable because it feels like you have to be constantly dazzling people or it is over. I'd be lying if I solved the problem myself. If you care to elaborate we can talk more about it.
>>481
If D is still passing I wouldn't sweat it. In university, I just had to accept it because I worked and went to school at the same time

I enjoy everything so much, I'm distracted all the time by it lol

I got rejected from a job before the interview. It wasn't that I was looking forward to a job interview, but it was just that I am looking forward to some more money.

>>491
Sorry to hear that but keep searching! I bet you'll find a nice job this year! :)

Maybe i am being a child but goddamn, After just mentioning my casette player getting fucked up has me feeling a whole range of intense emotions i really didn't want to feel. I spent a few hours browisng for old 500$ cassette players on ebay and i had to just stop. I know its kind of stupid but it meant alot to me, I have a ton of cassettes that i havent listened to in a literal decade since it got broken and i go through swings where i remember and forget. I bought a casette player for 20 bucks but it really isn't the same as what i used to have, When i listen to music i hear a loud WRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR which never happened to me with my old thing. I kinda feel like i'll never find a good casette player again, One part of me wants to buy an old one for a ton of money, Another wants me to somehow get used to the chinkware one i have, And another part of me wants to sell the damn casettes i have or hide them in storage and forget them for a while.

How do you deal with depression? Especially if there's no way to fix some of the causes and your just kinda fucked? Whenever it comes back it just burns and sometimes i wish i could just hang myself. I guess being destracted by other things is one way to deal with it but in many cases i'm too busy to even be distracted and when it kicks in its like i'm weighed down. I can't work as fast or hard enough and i feel like an idiot and then its only compounded if people notice me slacking and starts bitching at me or telling me somehow me being sad is just my mental health issues becaues i'm a retard or whatever.

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My past doesn't make any sense. My future feels like it's about to fall apart. The present is so claustrophobic, but I think I'm falling in love with someone and I'm not in one mind about what it means.

I feel like there's nothing in my life I genuinely care about, as in being interested and excited by it. Sure, I enjoy playing my guitar occasionally or watching a movie, but I'd get bored if I did it more often. I only have superficial interests that I engage with a couple times a month at best. I like playing videogames, but I'm not really passionate about them. I'm not passionate about anything. Maybe that's how most people live, but to me this is devastating, I think I'm the kind of person that needs to be excited by something to survive. I'm struggling with university now and the prospect of a job looks depressing to me. It has become hard to see the point in going on, I feel miserable but I know it's only going to get worse from here

>been steered away from vain and abominable things, like masturbation, porn, video games, love of riches, gluttony, pride, anger, and so have countless others.
Why the fuck are you here then? Jesus fucking christ /yu/ attracts the worst fucking normal nigger crowd all whiny and bitchy about their shitty problems in life and then faggots like this who want to point at religion as a solution on a motherfucking imageboard where shit like video games are a primary discussion. The entirety of /yu/ should be fucking purged because even if you gave them any advice they'll continue to cry daily about how they're incapable of following this advice because it would be quote on quote so forced for them to do so. At least give me the option to hide this shitty board so I don't have to see this stupid shit every single fucking day I come here.

>>546
Same, /yu/ is a downer even when it isn't being annoying. Can't remember the last time I saw something healthy happen here. The christian soldier also needs to learn to read the room. A way to filter from the overboard could be nice, if a purge isn't on the table.

>>546
Friend, why are you angry, and why use God's name as a cuss word (well, this demonic society has normalized the masses to do so)? This isn't about (organized) religion, this is about a personal relationship with the God of Heaven and Earth. I have testified of what (or who, more specifically) lifted me up, and I would love for others to know that that option is available.

>>546
>>546
The topic of this thread is
>Don't you sometimes feel like you don't enjoy anything anymore?
And
>I wanted to know if any of you felt like this and knew of ways to cope or go back to your old self. Also describe your own experiences and frustrations with your current situation if you feel like it

It would be better if you had made your post on /meta/ instead of posting on /yu/. Also why are you saying this now? Why not post this before when it came to mind? Do you wish to derail the thread? Also why have you not used the report feature? Normalniggers are not allowed on 22chan period point blank and allowing them to exist will only lead to more problems down the line even if you feel that the board might act as an effective containment for such rabble. Trust me when i say it will not, Containment is no more then a short term "solutuon" in large qoutes to a LONG TERM PROBLEM that'll fucking leech over to other boards. Hiding threads and posts will only make more problems in the long run and it reeks of cowardice (in my opinion) I mean look at 4chan, Did it do any good for them? The simple action is filtering and perhaps establishing board rules (not a large ass list but like maybe three) that are unrelated to the regular rules of the site, that hits that grey area that the rules don't cover and to FILTER OUT stuff that the community doesn't enjoy. If everyone agrees that venting is bad then it's banned or fucking whatever i dont know. If reports are not working then again, Make a fucking thread on /meta/.
>imageboard where shit like video games are a primary discussion
Why do you assume the intention of 22chan? Is that what it was made for? I'm curious of your opinion on this but i'd like to hear this on the proper thread for this type discussion instead of here.
>faggots like this who want to point at religion as a solution
So, What is your solution? Post it you actual retard since this is the fucking thread for it and the board and not a thread for META DISCUSSION. You need to be the fucking change you want to see dammit. Or, as an alternative fuck off and debate the problems with the board in the proper forum.
>>547
Have you ever considered making "healthy threads"? Have you ever reported or, bitched about threads you dislike on /meta/?
How is using /meta/ so difficult?

>>549
i have no clue how to spell or write, for this i must commit seppuku. to clear any of my metal retardations i mean "filtering out" by post deletions and in the worst case banning instead of hiding what inconvenienced you. are people that sensitive that they need a function to hide something instead of ignoring it?i mean fuck i use all of the boards and whenever i see threads i dont like, but isnt rule breaking i make threads i personally fucking enjoy.

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Why report what doesn't break any rules? Provided I get my way, that's just a silent removal. Why go to another thread if it's replies in this one that annoy me? I'd rather bitch here and get my voice out where it matters, but thank you for the advice.

Weed helps me become motivated to actually enjoy things. Every single time I end up acquiring some I'm in a much happier state and doing things like my old self again. I even do more work, take better care of myself, and others enjoy being around me only when I'm high although they don't smoke themselves.

>>546
>>547
/yu/ also has threads for happy and neutral feelings, but I guess negative ones tend to be more popular. I don't think people posting here expect all of their problems to be solved by some magical reply post, it's just that putting your thoughts into words and sharing them can be beneficial in and of itself. But I understand why you might find this whining annoying, so I support the feature of hiding all threads from a board in /all/. It was present in the original 22chan iirc.

But if you want to argue for the removal of /yu/ on the basis that bitching about your problems is normalfag behavior, I'd be interested to hear why. A thread on /meta/ is the way to go about this.

>>116
I relate to this, especially because I slowly became more anhedonic since 2015 to the point I had to devote time and effort into understanding my depression. Generally, it feeds into itself like an ouroboros where any effort I put into fighting against it was, ironically, burning me out faster and harder. Due to a lot of bad shit that happened to me in my life, I became anxious, hyper self-aware, self critical, and hard on myself. Many people genuinely need more discipline to get themselves out of their hole. But I needed less discipline (as ridiculous as it sounds it’s MUCH harder than you would think).

My tendency, or at least one I’m trying really hard to cultivate, is to ride the wave instead of fight the tide. Acknowledge my nihilistic, black depression and let it ride out because it’s the only thing that seems to work in my case.

>>553
Usually when I post in the positive it doesn't flow as good because it feels like it isn't as relatable as it with negativity. The main reason I post negative stuff because I am hoping someone relates.

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You ever fight harder than you've ever fought before? Fought so hard that every moment is suffering? Every second is so painful that it crawls by like blood along the floor? Your heart feels like it's on fire all of the time? Your stomach goes out and your lungs pop and all you can do is pray? Fight and pray and fight and pray until your very soul gives out? Fight and pray so hard it devolves to begging? Screaming and crying until you lose your nerve endings?
And still lose?

What is frustrating is trying to read then getting distracted by work only to forget wjat you are reading and having to re-read it to the point where you get board. It would be nice to actually read something without life getting in the way for once. I was actually really interested in reading the Nag Hammadi Library.

i don’t know what’s wrong with me. i feel really sick sometimes in random situations but i don’t understand why. it’s weird because everythings good, or so im told, but everything happening emotionally feels like youre at the very top of a rollercoaster that goes into nothing.
what is wrong with me? am i weird? why can’t i think sometimes. what is wrong with me

>>698
you should try to put yourself in a controlled enviorment like say, outdoors by yourself to see what triggers your feelings

>>699
how does one "see" what triggers their feelings? i think the whole point is that i can't think sometimes. it literally feels like my brain is stun grenaded. you can't think in those situations, your mind starts getting blurry and your senses start frying.
is how i imagine it'd go

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>>116
sometimes i just like fidgeting with things when i get in a mood where i want to play games or read a book but i don't feel i have the mental energy for it. i recently obtained a bunch of tiny magnets you can just play with in your hand and it's quite fun, and also eco friendly compared to other fidgeting toys. unfortunately they are not powerful enough, but i still vastly prefer playing with them compared to materials that are not the best for the earth or forcing my brain to do things it doesn't like.

>>731
what shapes and stuff do you like making with them?

>>747
i just like playing with it in my hands. kind of like a putty

I just want to get away from people. It isn't possible to get away from human contact at the moment but I am sure worn out by these normalfags.

>>764
Normalfags can be so pushy. They can acknowledge other people are pushy, but conveniently they are always the exception.

Staying alive is like an advanced and extreme form of self-harm

>>791
Finding good copes is what makes things not so bad and sometimes great to stay alive.

>>792
My sanity slips just a little bit more every day. I am losing myself to this torture. I don't know how much more I'm going to have to endure this but if there's no end to it soon then I might have to take matters into my own hands.
Once you feel truly alive once, you will never be able to go back. I don't want copes, I want the truth to be different.

>>155
not OP, but the way i decided to approach this is only focusing on the topics i really want to know. i've been studying judiasm and messianic movements so i would like to read the talmud and kaballah since they relate to the matter, and i still have to read nag hamadi/ the sophea texts.
also i have been curious about shintoism so thats next and thank fuck because i thought i wouldn't be able to find that stuff on the internet.
to say the least when studying harder subject matters it's difficult and its mind breaking when you get interrupted and lose progress, and have to start at the beginning of what could very well be thousands of pages. the way i have coped is finding audiobook versions of stuff online like youtube or librivox and i tend to pivot like lets say i am reading a book, read through a part of it and shit happens, well i'll choose another book in the meantime and focus on that untill i feel better.

>>799
Not to further derail this into a conversation about religions and politics but I can't even be bothered to listen to Bertrand Comparet's audio book interpretation of the Bible (which is if you're wondering about correcting the mistranslations put in by members of Rabbinic Judaism: https://archive.org/details/CPM_DSCI_Archive_Comparet) because my mind fades away into another direction the moment it gets the chance (mainly video games, imageboards, and pornography), and so I seriously have started to wonder how people many hundreds years ago people could keep their attention span and motivation to read something like the entirety of the bible. I remember listening in on a interview on the Tucker Carlson about Martin Shkreli who said that he read around 100's of books while in jail for securities fraud and conspiracy because he had all the time in the world with no distractions: https://youtu.be/NeyN3Jzdzz0?t=2104 [Play] and https://youtu.be/NeyN3Jzdzz0?t=2378 [Play]

I think in the ages past that life was such a pain - no anaesthetic for surgery, no germ theory, no electricity etc. - that simply reading a book was a luxury. I think we take it for granted how easy it is to be bored. I think surrounded by cold and dark and pain and hunger you'd find any sort of escapism whatsoever to be utterly engrossing.
Just my thoughts.