>>364
The people my age i met during family gatherings are normalnigger trash in the purest sense. Terminally online, 1000 social media accounts, What normalniggers classify as "zoomers" in their shit slang if you know what i mean. I talk to them about the stuff they enjoy or can relate to, they ignore me to my face. If i had social media it would be diffrent in there eyes i guess? I hated hout they pressured a family member i just met who fought in 'nam and didnt have social media. They railroaded him into downloading facebook so he could conmect with his old buddies. He was happy after the fact but facebook isn't exactly a healthy app. When they where pressuring him, he was uncomfortable and kind of shaking and when i tried to step in i was told i was being a downer and i just got dismissed. I guess its the same with the older folk (caught up in their own little worlds) but that guy i met was neat and had a bunch of stories. I guess family doesn't have to be in the blood?

For as long as I can remember, I've always hated going to my yearly family reunion. I have never connected with anyone in my extended family on anything. I barely talk the whole time I'm there. It feels like the only reason I keep on going is out of love for my Dad. Of course he wants me to be close with my family, as he is, but I can't help but feel that each time I'm going as an accessory to him, that all my relatives don't see me as an individual, but as my Dad's son, and that my absence reflects badly on him and would call into question his efficacy as a parent.

There was a time where I didn't go for several years. Each year following I was told how much my family missed me and eventually I caved into going again, only to get the same empty response from them: all small talk, just feigning interest. The year before I took my break I spent the majority of my time sat in a hammock reading the novels I had brought and read both of them from beginning to end in a single day. After the years had passed and I came back, someone told me about how they saw me laying there that year and were curious about me and why I disappeared, how that year had been the first year they went and consequently their first and only impression of me. I think if I hadn't been in such a state of anxiety from just being there I would've cried.

I just prefer to be alone and most of the time I don't care if it means there's something wrong with me. And it's not out of hatred for my family; I've simply never felt comfortable in a single interaction with them.

>>657
do you know if specific people in your family that might care enough to ask where you've been and missing your company or is it just impossible to tell?

>>657
Normalfags are so fair-weather people it is painful. When things are good with you, they don't show you that you matter. They only appreciate the theoretical idea of you, not the actual you. Being around normalfags who don't care about you makes me feel even more alone. The gatherings don't matter and are more appearance of family togetherness rather than an actual gathering,

Ah... family gatherings.
These are a reason to celebrate, largely speaking. But as I get older I see that people change. My childhood was guided by the elders of my family, and as a result the family remained quite together. As they passed on, everyone drifted apart even when one or two fought to prevent it. I remember Christmas at Grandma and Grandpa's house. They had 8 kids and the cousin count was huge, albeit with a 25 year range in my generation between oldest and youngest. It didn't matter. Everyone had someone to talk to and play with. As time went on people stopped gathering as readily. One of the cousins is getting married soon and everyone likes him, so I think we will all be together there in celebration no matter how far people drifted apart. I am thankful for that.

Beyond this, though, I find that the reality of the situation is that most people just do not care. They have no heart. No love. They are slaves to vanity and the world around them. This is what causes families to fracture. On my other side of the family I see very little in the way of true close ties. It isn't like it was in the stories of the elders when they first came to this country and the decades that followed. They'll all say it was because of time and work and other excuses, but people only stick together if they really want to. Most don't.

To this end, I also have found that there are certain people, certain families, who I share no blood with but am blessed to be a part of during certain religious and social gatherings. These people maintain the meaning of true family as those you are bound to in spirit and real love.

>>659
>Normalfags are so fair-weather people it is painful.
Yes, I believe this is how most humans navigate society. Certain merits of loyalty and honor are not the standard. I am aggrieved by this, but have learned to accept instead that those who have these merits are instead cherished.

>>964
>no matter how far people drifted apart. I am thankful for that.
It is always a joy to have people show love to you even, though it's been a while. Even if it is fake, it still feels good.
>but have learned to accept instead that those who have these
This is what we need to do to stay sane. These normalfags are not going to change because they are the majority, and we are the chosen few to recognize the shortcomings of society's behavior. The way I cope is to treat myself well. I have to recognize I can treat myself the best, and trying to please normalfags will make me go insane.

>>965
>trying to please normalfags will make me go insane
Bingo. They chase meaningless things that other people tell them matter. I live according to what makes me feel "right" and happy. I don't make sense even to myself sometimes because I feel like I somehow exist outside of the society I am myself a part of. I don't have the same struggles these people do because I am not married to something such as money but rather meaningful experiences with other people and even by myself. I was with my two friends that I live with and we were just "vibing" as is often said by people younger than me. I was taken aback by how wonderful everything felt. We all seemed to be synchronized in this feeling of appreciation that we could share in such a moment with one another. Then it became N64 games all night. We stopped to run to the store and get some soda and snacks and just kept the fun going. It was wild because the whole thing cost us maybe $20 for three people to have one of the most pleasant evenings of all time.

You can't convince people to have fun. You can't convince them to value small things. Even just a single breeze outside winding through the grass. Bringing it back to OP, these sorts of things are what my dad spoke of in abstract terms, describing life on the farm as a child when the extended family would all come and play softball, his mother would put pies on the windowsill, and people just existed. Sure, the same nature of people was there in their hearts maybe, but the world itself was smaller and people could appreciate life. When you look at the "Blue Zones" on earth where people live long lives, social elements such as these are still a factor.