>>364
The people my age i met during family gatherings are normalnigger trash in the purest sense. Terminally online, 1000 social media accounts, What normalniggers classify as "zoomers" in their shit slang if you know what i mean. I talk to them about the stuff they enjoy or can relate to, they ignore me to my face. If i had social media it would be diffrent in there eyes i guess? I hated hout they pressured a family member i just met who fought in 'nam and didnt have social media. They railroaded him into downloading facebook so he could conmect with his old buddies. He was happy after the fact but facebook isn't exactly a healthy app. When they where pressuring him, he was uncomfortable and kind of shaking and when i tried to step in i was told i was being a downer and i just got dismissed. I guess its the same with the older folk (caught up in their own little worlds) but that guy i met was neat and had a bunch of stories. I guess family doesn't have to be in the blood?

For as long as I can remember, I've always hated going to my yearly family reunion. I have never connected with anyone in my extended family on anything. I barely talk the whole time I'm there. It feels like the only reason I keep on going is out of love for my Dad. Of course he wants me to be close with my family, as he is, but I can't help but feel that each time I'm going as an accessory to him, that all my relatives don't see me as an individual, but as my Dad's son, and that my absence reflects badly on him and would call into question his efficacy as a parent.

There was a time where I didn't go for several years. Each year following I was told how much my family missed me and eventually I caved into going again, only to get the same empty response from them: all small talk, just feigning interest. The year before I took my break I spent the majority of my time sat in a hammock reading the novels I had brought and read both of them from beginning to end in a single day. After the years had passed and I came back, someone told me about how they saw me laying there that year and were curious about me and why I disappeared, how that year had been the first year they went and consequently their first and only impression of me. I think if I hadn't been in such a state of anxiety from just being there I would've cried.

I just prefer to be alone and most of the time I don't care if it means there's something wrong with me. And it's not out of hatred for my family; I've simply never felt comfortable in a single interaction with them.

>>657
do you know if specific people in your family that might care enough to ask where you've been and missing your company or is it just impossible to tell?

>>657
Normalfags are so fair-weather people it is painful. When things are good with you, they don't show you that you matter. They only appreciate the theoretical idea of you, not the actual you. Being around normalfags who don't care about you makes me feel even more alone. The gatherings don't matter and are more appearance of family togetherness rather than an actual gathering,