>>599
Sometimes it is just so hard to talk to people. You want to talk, but being tired you freeze up. I want to talk but my mind stops me. I feel so trapped. I want to reach out but I am sometimes my own worse enemy.

I've been there, but I got out.

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I felt as you described consistently for around two years. However, one day I suddenly realized it wasn't so anymore and hadn't been for a while. Change came so gradually that it was unnoticeable while it took place. The contests of this post are simply what seemed to help me the most. What I'm trying to suggest is for you be patient and hopeful with social activities in general. If you try your best to engage and put yourself out there, the right crowd will eventually sort of materialize around you, but it will take a loooooooooooooong time. Also, you may need to change your environment somehow, as in the people around you may be the problem instead of you. If you feel unwanted or similar to a ghost around people, it might be that you need to get away from those people in order to initiate the change needed to bring more change. And I guess this isn't the most useful thing to you now, but if you're similar to the anon that said their mind stops them when they try to talk, the only advice I can really give you is to try to be more impulsive for a while. As in, force yourself to do something less than a minute after it comes into your mind (with exceptions only being really stupid shit like jumping out a window. you'll only really need a couple seconds to figure out if something is reasonable or not, spend too long pondering it and you'll never take the action). And remember that
most people aren't all that important, so don't exaggerate their worth in your own head since that will make you way too cautious around them for no good reason. So basically: understand people are simply just humans like you, force yourself to put yourself out there and take risks even if it hurts a bit and finally, leave crowds that don't appreciate you despite all your efforts. Sorry if this all doesn't make much sense to you, I simply wanted to tell you to hang in there

>>599
i've been feeling this way towards the internet and the online privacy. the world is full of people who are relentlessly immoral or amoral to the point that authenticity and empathy is pruned out of any sort of community. people who are just... loud, all the time. trolling behavior no longer seems fun or lighthearted and every time i go online it feels like there's immense psychological and social warfare happening instead of people just connecting becuase they want to like the old internet used to be.

>>641
Do you ever get the feeling like when you look back at your own posts like "wow i was rude" or "why did i say that?"?

>>642
i don't think i err on the side of rudeness online. i generally dislike hostile online communities but i do think i tend to absorb their behaviors
why are you asking me this?

>>642
My manager was smiling at me at my job, and because I was so tired I could conjure a smile back. I felt rude because normies want you to smile when they are smiling. After all, that is just how normies are. I was so tired I just could not smile.

>>643
i know it isn't totally the case but i was wondering if it was infectious in a way. also i was thinking of the type of people who deal with stuff irl then act out online without realising they are rude, sometimes i look back on posts i make even if they where supposed to be light hearted and realise maybe other people might have not seen it that way and feel bad. i know that some sites are just toxicity generators that just churn out retards daily and you just kinda wonder how the next generation of people are going to behave like.

>>599
sometimes i express my honest feelings on something and it gets on other people's nerves for some reason. i can be a depressive kind of person but i don't really understand why expressing negative emotions, even if they're not directed towards anyone, gets a bad reaction from others.

also, this has been getting on my nerves for a while now, but mental illness or neurodivergence acceptance is not an invitation to be an antisocial or mean asshole.

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How do you guys deal with social isolation?
I know on some instinctual level we have a need for companionship, but at the same time I feel no desire to acquiesce to the demands of society in order to achieve it. I don't care how I present myself in public, or how stilted I am when speaking to people for this reason, because I know I'd rather be alone than waste my time with all the bullshit other people bring. Socialization hinges on putting on a front for others therefore anyone I would meet wouldn't connect with me.
I feel like I'm fighting a battle between my instinctual and rational thoughts and it's beginning to wear down my sanity. I hate them all and I also hate myself. The whole paradoxical nature of it all just pisses me off and I'm wondering if anyone is going through something similar. Probably not because I doubt this will make sense to anyone but me, but that's okay.

>>680
There is no good way of dealing with social isolation because it is not a good situation to be in. It increases your risk for health risk. I think the best thing to do is to get the most clarity on your situation so you know the solution you need.

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>>680
I promise you anon, what you're experiencing is chronic amongst humanity. These concerns of yours have entered the mind of almost every single person on this planet at least once. This is a problem that I myself have faced for almost my entire life. And for that, I have one thing to say to you; you're thinking about it wrong. You are not a victim of "normalfags" or regular people.
You're right, there is this sort of double faced "game" that people play in social situations. A kind of awful dick measuring contest, constantly. It's horrible, and it's not something I choose to entertain myself. Do you find yourself wondering how hard it must be to find somebody that's actually authentic? Somebody honest, who doesn't play those games? Everybody likes authenticity, and yet, our social lives are filled with plastic fakeness at every turn? It doesn't make any sense, except it does.
Nobody likes playing this social game. Nobody except the narcissistic and self obsessed. Everybody wishes they could be "authentic", and that they could find somebody who is "authentic".
So, what's stopping you from being that authentic person? Naturally, you would be afraid of others not liking you, but truly that is only a symptom of the problem, rather than the source. I can speak from experience, and I promise you brother please believe me, people are attracted to honesty. You do not need to play this game to be socially successful. You simply need to be honest, fair, and good hearted. People of high quality will find themselves inextricably attracted to you, pulled towards your presence. BECAUSE you're honest! Your honesty will terrify some, irritate others, and attract many. It's always going to be a mixed bag.
But-- a problem. You cannot truly be honest with others if you hate yourself, and you admit that you do hate yourself. And thusly, the true problem is discovered. All of us here on 22 are socially isolated, and many here hate themselves. I believe that there is a connection, in that people who hate themselves, and force themselves to behave and act differently around others, actually push people away. People are attracted to good qualities, such as honesty, fairness, morality, intelligence, etc. It's very difficult to have those qualities fully and truly if you hate yourself.
I know that you reading this probably won't solve anything, but if I have one piece of advice for you, anon, it's this;
Love Yourself. Learn to like yourself, learn to respect and appreciate yourself. If you love yourself, you will become okay with others not accepting you, and if you're okay with others not accepting you, then you have more social freedom than even the most powerful normalfag. Because you will then be the arbiter of your own social life, not a victim of it. Honesty trumps all.
Godspeed brother.