even with zoloft (doctors kept increasing dose every time i would do something drastic, went from 50mg to 100mg in a a week) numbing me to the point that i dont care about anything and never feel good or bad i still feel that constant insatiable emptiness that nothing could ever cure no drugs or person or whatever i try distract myself with can fill that hole in me its constantly borrowing deeper in2 me and im wasting time not killing myself already kekekkek no matter how much i think i get better. it all comes back twice as intense and leaves me in the despair i keep thinking i escape. recently ive been content, numbed to completely i couldnt care about anything at all, so apathetic towards everything and everyone and i am still this way but now instead im apathetic and just as horrible feeling as before no contentment. all i want is to die but i know i wont people care about me and they dont realise im always fleeting they care but its never enough so i will never care